Salvation
by MarineBorn
Summary: Shepard struggles to remain in control of his own body after learning that he was designed to be a weapon; he must learn how to control his power, his hate, and his anger. All while trying to keep Tali safe from his enemies, as well as himself.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter.1  
Slowing Down.

Commander Shepard stared into the small tablet that contained the information retrieved from the Collector base, he had gone over it a hundred times and still found nothing that told him when, where, our how the Reapers would attack.

His eyes looked weary and tired from the countless hours he had spent reading this small mechanical tablet, but behind the weary and tired eye's Shepard was alert and ready for anything.

He had made enough enemy's to keep him busy for the rest of his life without the Reapers threatening to kill him and everything he loved, due to this he was always ready and always prepared for the worst to happen.

Shepards mind kept drifting off, as much as he tried to focus on the tablet and look for something he had missed he could not. Every time he would start to read he would began to think about his past decisions and if they were right and wonder what horrible things he would be forced to do before this war was over.

Shepard wondered if he would have a future of his own that did not evolve blood and death are if he was going to end up like so many other poor bastards that would die before this war ended. At the back of his mind Shepard began thinking of Tali, whenever he was around this small Quarian he forgot about the Reapers and the men he had lost in the past. When he was just talking to Tali about her home on the Flotilla he felt a sense calm wash over him, her presence made him believe that this galaxy was worth everything that had happened to it and he wanted nothing more than to hold her close to him and whisper to her that he would always be there to watch over her.

His mind snapped back to the tablet, he thought to himself "_why are you thinking about her, you could die any day now from a hundred different things and you want to start a relationship with a innocent girl like Tali. You don't need the sin of breaking a young girls heart added to the already long list of mistakes you have made._" The commander hated himself for his feelings of Tali, he knew it was wrong and that nothing would ever happen but somehow he always felt better just by thinking of being with her.

Suddenly the intercom sounded "Commander, Anderson needs to see you in the Briefing Room"

When Shepard stepped onto the platform that allowed him to see Anderson he noticed Anderson was looking at the ground with a look of sadness upon him. As soon as he saw Shepard he jumped up and took on his usual look of a tired pissed off old man. "Commander Shepard, I have good news. A few hours ago a Alliance scouting vessel operating in the Osul Cluster picked up some strange reading from a large mountain range on Arul, none of the geniuses here can tell me what it is and I'd like for you to go and take a look at it" Anderson sounded proud of himself for finding this knowledge, since it has been a few weeks since he has found anything useful.

"Of course Councilor, we don't have any leads are self so this might be the perfect thing to give us a new trail to follow." Shepard tried to sound as optimistic as Anderson but he was having a hard time performing. "Well God willing this won't be a trail and you will find something useful, just take your team and see what you can find. Send me a report with your findings, and good luck Commander."

The comms went off and Andersons figure disappeared. "Joker head to the Osul Cluster we've got some work to do." Shepard sounded a bit too depressed and Joker had to lighten the mood "Well Commander we can go be the Alliance's newest scouting toy if you want. or I could plot a course for the nearest bar so you can fit in with all the other depressed war hero's" Joker was just trying to lighten the mood, but Shepard was growing tired of these little missions that always ended in a empty crater our a radiation flare and he took some of his frustration out on Joker.

"If you don't get me to that planet fast then you're coming with me on the ground crew." There was silence on the intercom so Shepard assumed Joker was heading to the Osul Cluster.

Shepard decided to stop by the Mess Hall and inform Garrus he was going to be one of the ground crew. When he got there he saw Garrus listening to Legion. At least he assumed Legion was talking, it was hard to tell if you weren't close enough to hear him.

As Shepard approached the two he saw Legion look at him and point. Shepard stood next to Garrus shifting his weight."We were having a discussion over whether or not Samara is attracted to Garrus." Legion said in his normal monotone voice.

Shepard looked at Garrus and raised an eyebrow." Garrus...you have'nt got a chance in hell" Shepard didn't mean to sound hateful after all he and Garrus were always messing with each other over something. "Well I don't know about that. I think she finds me interesting."Garrus was of course making a joke, but Shepard didn't care and Legion was to slow to understand it. "Well good luck with that. Just came down to tell you that you and Tali are the ground crew for the next mission at 0400. Be at the Kodiak ready."

Garrus nodded his head in understanding. "Speaking of Tali, where is she Garrus?" Shepard sounded more worried than curious, which didn't surprise Garrus. Everyone else on the crew had no idea Shepard cared for Tali, but Garrus had been with Shepard long enough to know that if someone can tell Shepard he is wrong and be under his command and he does'nt shoot them right there on the spot, he probably loves them. Of course when Tali said it she was just talking about the easiest way into a locked facility, but had it been anyone else he would have gone off like a roman candle.

"I think I saw Tali in the Armory" said Garrus trying not to laugh at Shepard's compassion for another person. Shepard turned around on the ball of his heel and headed up to the Armory with a slight increase to his normal speed.

Shepard walked into the Armory looking for Tali; he saw her sitting at a corner table cleaning her shotgun. When she saw him walking over she sat the weapon and cleaning items on the table and stood up as if he was going to grade her on posture."Tali, Were leaving at 0400 for a mission on the garden planet of Arul, If you are willing I'd like to have you come along we may need some scanning done and me and Garrus have hell doing it."

He was telling the truth about not being able to scan properly, but he really did not like bringing Tali down on the Ground team he hated putting her life in danger."Of course Shepard I'd be happy too, it's been so long since you took me with you on the team I'm looking forward to shooting something"

Tali's voice alone melted the strong commander's heart. Just hearing her talk made him smile and forget everything bad in the world. "Well if I had known you enjoyed being part of the Ground team I would have brought you with me more often, I assumed you enjoyed staying on the Normandy and working with the engine though." he sounded very sincere, almost like he was sorry for not asking her what she wanted." Well I do enjoy working with the engines, but I feel like I'm not carrying my own weight around since all I do is work on the engines." Tali's voice was light and it did not carry very far, you had to be close to hear her accent and lovely tone of voice.

"Tali, how can you think that? If it wasn't for you we would still be sitting at the Collector base trying to open those doors. You are the best damn engineer I know." Shepard said wanting nothing more than to make her happy.

He was not sure if what he was doing was right but he could not help it. Tali brought something good out of him, something he didn't even now he had until she spoke to him in those soft reassuring words.

"Thank you Shepard. You're too kind; It must be a habit I picked up from the Flotilla. Everyone back home must do their share of work are we would not have survived as long as we have." Every time Tali talked about her home Shepard wanted to grab her and hold her, he wanted to tell her that he would make everything better for her and her people.

He was honest in his thinking, he truly wanted to help them and he swore to himself that once the war was over he would build her a home and he would stay by her side for as long as time permitted.

However he did not know how to tell her how he felt. No women ever warmed his heart the way she did, and despite all his courage and bravery he could not summon the will to tell her how he felt."Tali don't worry; you are welcome here no matter what happens. All I ask is that you do what you do best." Shepard said in a reassuring voice.

. "What do you mean Shepard?" She asked curiously.

"I mean follow me and use that cannon you always carry around, without you and Chiktika I would be defenseless." Replied Shepard in a joking manner.

Tali laughed and giggled beneath her mask, her gorgeous silver eyes narrowed slightly as she did. "Shepard I'm surprised you know her name. Well I better get back to cleaning my gear since we are leaving soon. Thanks for making me feel welcome Shepard I don't know what I would do without you"

Shepard felt a heavy weight suddenly lift up from his heart, it took all his will power to walk to the door. Right before he exited the room he turned around and said "trust me Tali, I'll always be nearby if you need me for anything." Tali was about to question him about the intentions of the statement but before she could speak Shepard left the room. Leaving her alone to ponder the commander's words.

Along the way to his cabin he kept telling himself go back to her but Shepard dismissed these thoughts as being irrational and unfair to her. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to tell her that he loved her, but he did not want to break her heart and he knew very well that if he told her how he felt and they developed a relationship it could go nowhere. He knew this and yet she remained in his mind, he kept telling himself someday somehow he would make it. _'One step at a time_' he told himself _'one step at a time._' He went back up to his cabin and fell asleep to get some much needed rest before the mission and to dream of holding his love.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter.2  
Hotspot.

Shepard walked to Jokers station and immediately was concerned about the scan EDI had picked up from the planet's surface.

"EDI do you want to tell me what the hell I'm looking at" said Shepard obviously confused.

"I have performed the scan three times and there is no fluctuation in the reading. However I cannot focus on the object making the energy spike due to a large amount of unknown material blocking my scan" EDI sounded a bit curious even for A AI. Shepard had a look of discontent on his face. "Have any ideas on how you can get passed the anomaly."

Shepard was hopping the process would turn up some valuable information but he didn't like the idea of a material that EDI couldn't identify, she had some of the most advanced databases at her disposal. This anomaly would have to be very rare. "It is possible to plant a beacon at a certain location near the anomaly that would allow me to do further scans. However doing so would be a timely process and would require the Normandy to land near the beacon so that I may interact with it properly."

Joker looked up at the Commander with a look of confusion and sarcasm. "So you want us to land on a uninhabited planet and wait for you to come up with a analysis…yea great idea, I'll put that one next to me being the next Spectre."

Shepard looked down at Joker "don't worry I'm taking a ground crew to make sure it will be safe enough." Shepard was trying to look professional in front of Joker and the crew since they were all a bit unnerved about landing on a strange planet.

Shepard turned and started walking to the cargo hold. When he arrived he saw Garrus and Tali already making final adjustments to their gear. Shepard was already ready; since most of his gear was stored in his quarters he had made it a habit to get ready for a mission as soon as he possible. "You two ready?" asked Shepard sternly. Garrus shifted his weight off the side of the small drop ship and stood up. "Have we ever left for a mission and forgot something important?" asked Garrus trying to break the post mission tension.

"Thiers a first time for everything. Now get your ass on the ship." Shepard decided to ease up with looking professional since Garrus and Tali were the closes thing he had to family.

Tali stepped in the ship first taking a seat next to the window. After Garrus and Shepard had set down across from each other, with Shepard sitting beside Tali the ship lifted up and rotated around making its last preparations before exiting.

As the ship headed toward the planet Shepard opened up the pilot hatch and asked the young Marine that Anderson had stationed on the Normandy along with about 15 other Marines, If EDI had posted where they were going to land on the ships computer. After the Marine answered Shepard in a stern harden voice that everything was set, Shepard closed hatch." I forgot about how much protocol and standards Alliance soldiers have, makes me glad all I have to worry about is fleet homicidal starships."

Shepard was hoping to break the silence, since sitting next to Tali made him feel uncomfortable. Shepard kept trying to correct his posture and look thoughtful, but his eye's kept creeping over to Talis expressionless mask and he wondered what she was thinking about as she starred out the window and into the great void.

As the ship neared the drop position Shepard pulled down his visor on his old N7 armour. Cerberus and the Alliance both had offered him a new more advanced suit of amour, but he had modified this suit so many times that it could stand toe to toe with any of the new suits.

The ship touched down briefly on the lush green world and the ground crew immediately disembarked and took a knee in a circle around the ships main hatch. "I am detecting no life signs near your current position besides native wildlife, proceed northeast." EDI voice clicked off the mike. Shepard stood up and started a slow cautious walk toward the direction EDI had informed him of. Tali and Garrus followed close behind him, keeping a sharp eye out along the dense jungle. Shepard could see a mountain looming over head and assumed it was the one that contain the anomaly.

He looked around the jungle as he headed toward the imposing mass of rock ahead of him, Shepard's keen eye saw numerous places to take cover behind but he also noticed many ambush position that a unknown enemy could easily hide behind.

He dismissed this thought and quickened his pace. As he neared the mountain a icon appeared on the upper left side of his helmet. "Follow the coordinates to the best possible place to position the beacon." EDI voice filled the silence that just moments before had been making everyone so nervous.

The small team arrived at a slight enclave in the mountain. The facing of the mountain was flat and covered in moss that had appeared to long ago start claiming the area."EDI were at the coordinates what now?"Shepard voice sounded a bit anxious. "Directly in front is the only part of the anomaly not covered by the mountain. Can you see it?" EDI's voice sounded confident and very monotone as always.

Shepard slowly walked up to the sheer wall of the mountain and brushed his hand against the moss, as it fell away the team was astonished by what they saw. "My god this looks like the ruins we saw on Illios when fighting Saren. " Shepard was obviously amazed by what he saw.

Tali stepped forward and stared into her Omni-tool. "I'm detecting a slight reading from this wall; it appears to be some sort biotic mineral." Tali's voice sounded distracted as she typed into her small tool.

"EDI look for a spot near here and land the Normandy." Shepards voice sounded loud and professional again, and he felt glorified that they had found something new to work with.

"Were on our way. It looks like there is a small plateau to the west of you position, there's no forest around it and appears to be wide open with plenty of room." Joker's voice sounded excited as he looked for a place to land.

"Take her down there then, Joker. We'll wait here for the transport to drop off the beacon." Shepard was excited as Joker but he kept his in reserve. "_No reason to get happy yet, don't even know what we have._" Thought Shepard, as he started peeling back more layers of the moss that was growing on the wall.

Garrus took off his helmet and sat down on a nearby root beneath a large green tree that appeared to have the same kind of moss growing on it as the wall.

Shepard eventually stopped taking the moss off, after he noticed that the wall looked the same all over. He resided to sitting on the ground with his back propped up against the same tree as Garrus.

Tali was still typing into her Omni-Tool as she turned around and laughed at the two veterans sitting down.

Garrus and Shepard looked at the small quarian, and were noticeably confused "I'm sorry, it's just that….well you two are always so cautious and now you're both lying down near a ancient relic that has not been disturbed for centuries. I'm sorry, I just find that humorous."

Tali went over to a tree that had fallen down due to the large amount of moss growing on one side, and leaned against it.

"Well since no one has been here for centuries I doubt they would mind us using their wall." Garrus sounded sarcastic, but he had a point.

Tali continued to type into her Omni-Tool looking for some clue into the strange wall, as Garrus stood up "Well I'm going to go find a hill and try to see were the Normandy lands." 

Garrus did not sound convinced at what he said, as if he was looking for a reason to leave the two alone.

"Just don't go too far Garrus, I don't feel like wandering through the woods looking for you." Shepard sounded uncomfortable about Garrus's sudden decision to leave him alone, with Tali. Garrus lightly chuckled to himself as he tromped through the forest away from the little clearing.

Shepard looked at Tali, suddenly glad he didn't take his helmet off. He was afraid she would be able to see his thoughtful stare, even with the helmet on.

He snapped back to looking at the wall and thought" What the hell is wrong with you, we where suppose to get over this!" Tali stood up and walked over beside Shepard and sat down next to him.

"Shepard, what was your family like." Shepard looked stunned, as if someone had just told him the last five years were a dream. "Uhh…why do you want to know, Tali?" Shepard decided to take off his helmet so she could see the confused expression on his face.

"I didn't mean to pry it's just that you know so much about me and my people, and yet for the years we've been together you have told me nothing of your past."

Shepard lost his confused expression, and looked down at the ground in shame."Well, it's not exactly something you may want to hear." Shepard hated the idea of telling her about his past, she was so innocent and he was so ruthless.

"I would really like to hear it… that is if you're alright talking about it. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do." Tali sounded curious about the commanders past, as if she had been waiting for a moment to ask him about it.

"No, its fine. I guess since you've have told me about you I should tell you about me. What do you want to hear?"

Tali cocked her head to one side slightly, and looked at the tree across from her. "Do you have any family?" "No" Shepard replied fast and swift once he heard what she asked, more on the instinct of avoiding his past then anything.

"I'm sorry, I should elaborate…..Ok well, my Father was an Admiral in the Alliance, much like your father. I never really saw much of him our my mother; she was a Officer aboard one of the ships he commanded. Most of my time was spent aboard civilian star ships while they were off fighting whatever senseless war the Alliance had thought up."

Shepard gulped down a heap of air, having answered her question without revealing anything too sensitive. Then she bounced back with "So are they still in the Alliance?" Tali's curiosity was only fueled by Shepard's attempt to satisfy it.

Shepard looked like he had been punched in the kidney when he heard her question. There was a short silence before Shepard reluctantly spoke.

"No, they both died when the cruiser they were on was destroyed by a mercenary band trying to keep them from retrieving stolen cargo, I don't have any other family besides that and since there gone all I have is.." Shepard stopped himself before he got carried away talking about emotions, because he knew there was a good chance he would slip up and say something that pertained to his love for her.

"I'm sorry to hear that Shepard…I..I wish there was something I could say." Tali's voice had gotten quieter and softer and it pierced the resilient commander's heart like a knife.

There was a long silence, before the commander spoke up. "Well, if that had not had happened I wouldn't have met you." Shepard quickly stopped looking at her and stared at the dirt between his legs and thought to himself"_WHAT!...Why did you say that you idiot_." The commander mentally kicked himself for telling her that.

"I never knew I meant something to you shepa" EDI's voice filled both Tali's helmet as well as Shepard ear piece.

"Normandy has touched down, and the Hammerhead is in bound to your current position with necessary gear to build the Beacon." EDI's voice clicked off and Shepard stood up and then offered Tali his hand to help her up.

She looked up at him and her silver eyes connected with his, it was just for a second and then she took his hand and hoisted herself up. When she stood up she lost her balance and took an extra step forward and Shepard caught her before she fell into him. He held onto her arms as she regained her balance, she straightened up herself and once again looked into his eyes.

She thought to herself about how handsome he was and how much she owed him, she always thought that he viewed her as a weight on the team and tried to make her feel comfortable just to be kind, but as she looked back she couldn't remember him doing this for anyone else.

Every time something needed to be done he did it flawlessly and precise, she wanted to comfort this man who had given her so much and tell him that she felt something for him. She did not know if it was love, but she knew that she had not felt this way about anyone else and she thought about telling him right then what her emotions were."Shepard" she said as she kept her eyes fixated on his.

Shepard knew he should stop this before something happened. He knew she was just an innocent girl who deserved someone who would always be there for her and hold her and as badly as he wanted to believe that was him he knew his life was always being threatened.

Just as Tali began speaking again"shepard I fee*" Garrus ran into the clearing, and they both let go of each other as soon as they saw him. "Hammer is almost here, whew!..I must be getting old." Garrus straightened up his back breathing deeply, not knowing what he had just stopped.

Shepard quickly dismissed what just happened and tried to pretend it didn't. Tali took a step toward the tree she had been leaning against and thought about how foolish she would have looked if she had told him what she felt. "_He could be with anyone, why would he want me. I can't even leave this damn suit and I want to selfishly have him love me. The man who has been through so much in his life deserves someone who can love him back_."

Shepard and Tali both loved each other so deeply, and intimately but they were both new to this emotion of love. Shepard had never felt this way about anyone, yes he had been with women but most he had known were just a one night stand and he felt no emotional bond for them, but he knew he wanted to be with Tali and even if they could not consummate there love physically he didn't care. He loved her and she loved him even if they didn't know it yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter.3  
Downtime.

The Marines had already begun offloading the Normandy's equipment that was needed for the beacon to transmit properly when Shepard arrived at the landing zone. Shepard had left Mordin, Legion, and a small detachment of the Marines at the wall, which was only about a mile and half away.

Tali had insisted on staying at the wall to help Mordin set up the beacon, but Shepard had insisted he needed her at the landing zone to make sure the relay between the Normandy and the beacon was working properly.

Shepard was surprised with himself after he had told her to come back with him to the LZ. He knew that EDI would be able to set up the relay without any assistance but he felt better having her close since this world was relatively unexplored.

As Shepard patrolled the LZ he directed the Marines to set up the small deployable barricades that were currently stored in the cargo hold. He didn't know if they would need them but he figured since they had no idea what was behind that wall are what would happen when it opened it would be safer to have some defensive positions ready just in case.

"Shepard, the beacon is almost ready. Mordin is adjusting the final calibrations needed for me to begin." EDI's voice startled Shepard, he had expected it would take longer for Mordin to get everything ready, but as usual Shepard underestimated the brilliant scientist.

"Inform me once you start the scans EDI, how long should it take once you begin?" Sheapard was hoping for a short answer, he was desperate to find out what was behind the massive wall and continue his battle with the Reapers. "I am unable to give you an accurate estimate of the time it will take to complete my scans." Shepard did not want to hear this. He had hoped it would only take a few hours, but not knowing how long it would take was going to drive him mad.

Once the Marines had finished setting up the barricades and deploying various heavy weapons around the Normandy they started to send scouts into the forest to make sure nothing hostile was in the area.

They had seen a few pyjacks and some strange looking birds but nothing seemed hostile. Shepard walked up to the side of the Hammerhead tank which had been parked in front of the Normady's entrance in case a firefight began.

Grunt was walking down the ramp of the Normandy when Shepard saw him. "Shepard I'm going with the scouts into the forest, all this sitting around on a strange planet is making me want to hurt something." Grunt sounded eager to explore the surrounding wilderness.

"You do know this planet is just full of small furry apes, and some birds right?" Shepard was amused by the large Krogan's urge to fight.

"Well everywhere you go a fight starts so I'm not going to set around on my ass and wait for it." Grunt joined the small contingent of Marines who were being briefed by the only real Alliance officer aboard the Normandy and waited for them hurry up and leave. 

Shepard set down on one of the many crates that littered the area around the ship, most were full of thermal clips, and various supplies Shepard had deemed necessary to keep close.

Shepard removed his helmet and shifted his weight trying to get comfortable on the bulky crate, while waiting for EDI to inform him of any changes. Shepard was feeling his face with an ungloved hand, making sure that the surgery Dr. Chakwas had given him was still holding the cybernetic implants back from showing when Tali walked up beside him. She sat down across from Shepard on one of the Hammerheads two turbines that kept it in the air when turned on. Just as Tali sat down EDI's voice filled Shepard's ear.

"Scans are in progress, approximate time required……unknown. You will be informed when they are completed."

Shepard looked at Tali's mask and instantly felt the same feeling he had a few hours ago when they were so close to reveling there true emotions.

"EDI just started the scans. There's no telling when they'll be done." Tali nodded her head at Shepard after he had informed her of EDI's report.

"I'm in no hurry to leave. This planet reminds me of the stories I heard of Rannoch my people's home world. No insects, dry heat, and beautiful forests." Tali sounded sad speaking of her home world and thinking of the painful past her people had been forced to endure.

Tali looked up at Shepard and saw that he had a concerned look in his eyes and seemed to be sharing her grief. After a short pause Shepard spoke up.

"I…I'm so sorry Tali, I can't say I know what you're going through but…I wish there was something I could do for you."

Tali was shocked, not by the commanders concern for her people. He had always shown great interest in wanting to help them but she was shocked by his sudden show of emotion and care.

His words were very soft and spoken as if he were trying to comfort her. "Shepard…you have done more for my people than anyone else has, I don't understand why you concern yourself with us so much. You have your own people and your own problems to solve." Tali could not understand why this powerful human who had so much to do and so many enemies bothered himself with learning about her people and spending time with her discussing issues that only affected Quarians.

Shepard stood up from the crate he had been sitting on and walked over to Tali and sat beside her. He took one of her hands into his own calloused hand and looked into her bright silver eyes.

Her heart was beating uncontrollably, she thought to herself rapidly. "_What is he going to say, I've never seen him look at anyone like that, oh keelah this must be a dream_." Shepard leaned close to her face mask."Tali…It's not your people I'm concerned with….it's you." Shepard spoke slowly and directly from the heart.

He kept telling himself to stop, but once he said that all resistance inside of him gave up. Tali started to feel warm inside of her suit, her heart beat increased again and she didn't know what to do.

This had never happened to her and she was completely taken off guard by Shepard sudden show of emotion. She kept staring into his bright blue eyes and admiring his rigid and scared face, she could almost make out the cybernetic implant that he tried so hard to disguise.

Shepard tilted his face slightly and moved his left hand around her waist, while keeping his right hand on hers holding it softly.

When his left hand touched her waist she jumped slightly and looked down at the ground in embarrassment. A slight grin spread across the face of this harden soldier amused by her sudden jolt.

He gently took the chin of her helmet with his hand and lifted it up so that she looked into his eyes again. "Tali…..I should have told you this a long time ago….I love you."Shepard used the hand on her chin to brush the side of her mask; she took her own hand and used it to hold his hand against her mask.

"I….I don't know what to say Shepard, I have always wanted to hear you say those words but I never….I always thought it was nothing more than a dream."

Tali looked deep into the commander's eyes, she let go of his hand on her mask and put one hand on his knee and the other in her lap

"Tali this isn't a dream, I want you and no one else. I've always wanted you even if you can't leave that suit. I just want to be with you." Shepards voice was filled care and concern as he stared into her beautiful eyes.

"I love you Shepard, but you deserve someone who can…love you back…I…I can't Shepard. I want to feel your skin and I want to be able to return your affection but I could get sick if we were…together.

"Tali voice had become just a whisper and it was filled with grief and sorrow. Shepard voice became determined but it retained its soft gentle tone."I don't care Tali. I don't care if we can never be together physically, but I can't stand not be with you. I lost you once when I died and I never want to be without you again. No matter what happens Tali I will love you."

Shepard let go of her hands and stood up. He removed the earpiece that EDI talked through and threw it over on the crate he had been sitting on.

Shepard grabbed Tali's hands and pulled her close to him, he held her within his arms and his massive body enveloped her small frame. She had her hands on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her keeping her close to him. She buried her face in his broad shoulders and cried. "I love you so much Shepard" she said between sobs of tears. "I just want to make you happy." Tali sniffled slightly and stopped crying. She looked up at Shepard who still had his arms wrapped around her, and lost herself in his caring gaze."But Tali" Shepard said softly." You already have made me happy."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter.4  
The Key.

Shepard was checking his armor and equipping it slowly, making sure there were no problems with the kinetic barriers that he would be trusting his life to. The door to his cabin sprung open with a quiet hiss and Garrus stepped inside with an angry look on his face.

"What have you been doing Shepard! EDI has been calling you for 2 hours trying to tell you th." Garrus's face went from anger to shock as the covers on Shepard bed were moved and Tali Zora's masked face popped up, she had the rest of her body cuddled up in the soft silky fabric as if she was cold even though her suit kept her warm at all times.

"Hello Garrus." Said Tali innocently. Shepard looked worried at first but when Tali had acted like it was nothing a smiled spread across his face. Garrus still looking stunned slowly looked over at Shepard.

"Uhhh…I'll just wait for you at the CIC deck." Garrus turned around and started out the door, before the door shut Shepard heard Garrus start to laugh uncontrollably as he waited for the elevator to open. Shepard turned around and looked at Tali still sitting in the bed with only her head exposed.

"Think he'll tell anyone?" Shepard didn't sound worried just curious.

"Well if he does tell can I hug you in front of the crew?" Tali cocked her head to one side as she talked.

"You." Shepard said as he walked to the bed. "Can do whatever you want to with me." He sat down beside her and rubbed his hand against the side of her mask.

"Oh, well I guess that just gives me even more motivation to find some anti-biotic shots." Responded Tali as she crawled out of the bed and sat beside Shepard on the edge.

"There's no hurry at all." Said Shepard trying to sound compassionate, which was very difficult for him since he had been without physical contact for many years.

Tali shifted her weight as she slid closer to Shepard. "Well….you don't sound very convincing commander." Responded Tali suggestively as she put her arm around Shepard shoulder.

Shepard looked down at her. "Whenever you're ready…I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to." This time Shepards voice was filled with care and love.

Tali met Shepards gaze and spoke softly and slowly "Trust me Shepard…I'll find a way."

Shepard stood up slowly and unwillingly letting her slide out of his arms as she stayed on the bed. He walked over to the rest of his armor and continued to suit up. Tali eventually got up and walked over to Shepard and gave him one last hug before she left for engineering. After Tali left Shepard put his helmet under his arm and headed to CIC.

As Shepard stepped out of the elevator doors he saw Garrus talking to Thane and walked over to them.

"Well if you would have told Shepard that Mordin knew how to op*" Thane stopped talking as he saw Shepard approach.

Garrus glanced over at Shepard. "Well good morning Shepard, how nice of you to join us." his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yea, sorry I needed some rest…anyway so do we know how to get into the ruin yet?" Shepard was obviously trying to change the subject to something less personal.

Garrus shifted his weight and lost his smirk grin. "Yea, Mordin wants to see you at the wall. EDI found a door a few yards away from the wall and he's waiting on you before he searches it. "

"Alright, you're coming with me Garrus and EDI tell Tali to meet us at the Hammerhead." Shepard sounded stern and eager. It had been a while since Shepard had done anything but scan old data so it was understandable that he wanted a change of pace. 

_Thirty minutes later…_

Shepard stepped out of the Hammerhead and approached Mordin who was sitting on a camp stool reading something.

"Ah, Shepard good you are here. I assume Garrus has told you EDI found a way in?" Mordin sounded excited which was rather normal for the quick talking Salarian.

"Yea, he told me. Let's figure out what's so damn important that it drug us down here."Shepard motioned for all the Marines that had been stationed with Mordin to gather around.

"EDI mark on my HUD where the door is." Once EDI had done so Shepard informed the Marines what was going to happen. He had 2 Marines man the Hammerhead and the rest were to follow behind it while he and his team kept point.

As the small team reached the area on Shepard HUD they saw Legion waiting by a large tunnel that would have been large enough for the Hammerhead to get through with no trouble.

Sheppard turned on his comm link to the crew of the Hammerhead and told them to wait outside. Shepard's team and the rest of the Marines continued to go inside the tunnel. Everyone had turned on their helmet light so they could see, and began a slow walk with Shepard in point followed by Garrus and Tali.

"The floor appears to have some carvings in it." Said Mordin back behind the Marines as he observed the floor.

Shepard replied sharply. "Yea it's the same as the ones on the wall, must mean were in the right spot."

They kept walking until they approached a wall in their path which was covered in markings that were different then the floor and the wall outside. It had a large obelisk in the middle with a light shining out of the top of it. Mordin brushed past Shepard and began observing it and scanning it with his Omni-Tool.

Shepard suddenly realized the beacon was the same on he had seen back on Eden Prime all those years ago. Mordin was sliding his hand across the wall feeling for something.

"I do not see a way past this Shepard." Said Mordin regretfully.

Shepard put a hand on his shoulder and motioned with his head to step behind him. "I don't know if this will work but it's worth a shot.' Shepard approached the door and narrowed his eyes as he reached out with his hand.

Shepard put his hand against the middle of the door and breathed out. For a moment he thought nothing was going to happen then suddenly the wall split in two and each half slid into the mountain side.

"That was…unexpected." Said Mordin shocked by what had just transpired.

Shepard shrugged and replied."I've been around beacons that resembled that painting, they probably marked me somehow which allowed me to open that."

It took the large doors a few seconds to completely move into the mountain. After the way was clear the team began slowly advancing cautious of whatever happed to be hiding in this long forgotten site.

The team had been traveling through the same kind of tunnel as before the door but after a few yards it opened up into one massive room.

"Oh Keelah" Exclaimed Tali as the team walked into the room.

Shepard told the rest of the team to wait there, and he advanced into the center of the room. The lights on the Marines helmets began dancing around the room trying to explore the room…and see if they were alone.

Shepard had not taken more than a few steps forward when he felt a low rumbling sound. He felt uneasy about this noise, but it sounded more like a generator powering up then anything.

He looked back at the team who were only about 12 yards away across the wide open room that seemed to contain nothing. 

The room itself was large enough to house the entire Normandy with room to spare, its ceiling was a dome shaped with the markings they had seen before covering it as well as the walls. The floor however was a simple dark gold color that was surprisingly clean considering its age.

As Shepard continued his scouting into the middle of the room he spotted the only object that seemed to be taking up this vast room. It was a small sphere that was only high enough to reach Shepards neck. He cautiously approached the sphere and reached out his hand and touched it. As with the wall the Sphere did nothing for a few seconds, then it suddenly began opening up into several small rings that resembled the mass relays center.

Shepard took a step back and watched the amazing display as the sphere unfolded itself and began whirling around in a strange and rapid motion. As the rings speed up a light suddenly irrupted from the center of them. The light was bright enough to temporarily blind Shepard and the team behind him that was watching the same display he was.

Shepard motioned for the team to come to him. As they walked forward everyone was staring up and around the room trying to find something different in the pattern but the entire room was consistent the only thing that was different was the sphere.

"Shepard what is this?" Said Garrus who was as awestruck as anyone else.

Shepard glanced over at the Turian. "How the hell should I know?" Shepard was starting to say something else but the room suddenly and violently shook.

Small platforms started to unfold from the walls and parts of the floor began rising up to about waist high and then assembled themselves in what appeared to be terminals and various technological computers.

Mordin walked over to one of the terminals and began moving his long fingers along its front until a display came up. "It appears to be a research station" His voice filled with excitement and nervousness.

"Everyone fan out and secure this area, EDI get Councilor Anderson on the comms and tell him we found something big."

Shepard looked worried."EDI?....EDI can you hear me?...Damn it the mineral that blocked her scans must be blocking are comms…Garrus take two Marines and head back to the entrance, tell EDI to give Anderson a call…and tell him we stumbled on something big."

Shepard started to walk over to Mordin before turning around and shouting after Garrus. "And tell the rest of the team to get there asses down here, where going to need to figure out what all this is." Shepard voice trailed off as he began examining the new contents of the room that had sprouted up like plants. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter.5  
Salvation or the Savior.

Shepard was walking back and forth among Legion, Mordin, Tali and the Marine technical crew trying to get an idea on what this complex was for. He was nervous but excited at the cache of Prothean artifacts they had just recently discovered in the large mountain range.

"Come on Mordin, there must be something in there that states what this place is." Said Shepard obviously eager.

Mordin was going over vast stores of data that was irrupting from the small terminal that seemed to be made of nothing but rock. Each terminal looked alike and they were so many that the room looked like a large chess set from above.

"Data is in Prothean. Not my best subject. Best to just copy data and translate aboard the ship." Mordin sounded just as eager as Shepard but he was restricting himself from getting over excited since they still had no idea what they had found.

Shepard went over to blank terminal that looked like it was turned off and leaned against it trying to relax.

Garrus and the two Marines that Shepard had sent with him came into the room from the tunnel that was situated in the middle of the south wall, it was the only way in or out of the room at least as far they knew. Since the terminals sprouted up from what seemed like the floor Shepard assumed this room had more secretes then it let on.

Shepard sat up from the terminal and walked over to Garrus. "Did EDI send a message to Anderson?"

Garrus stopped in front of Shepard and had a worried look plastered all over him. "Yea, EDI did send a message….but there was a problem."

Shepard tensed up waiting to hear the problem.

Garrus exhaled and then looked directly at Shepard. "It seems like someone has blocked are long range communication signal."

Shepard flinched suddenly. This was bad news the Normandy had some of the most advanced communication systems the galaxy had to offer.

Shepard turned around to the rest of the team that was a few yards away near the still spinning group of rings. "HEY! Were pulling out of here now. Get your gear and mount up." Shepard made it clear through his voice that they were to double time it.

Mordin rushed over to Shepard and looked rather frantic. "Shepard must finish copying data to Omni-Tool. Still need time." Mordin was too curious about the Prothean data to leave it behind.

The rest of the team were putting away various instruments into their rut sacks that they had been using to collect data.

Shepard looked at Mordin with a stern face. "Look, someone blocked are long range comms and they would not have done that unless they were planning to stop us." Shepard talked fast. He was in a hurry to get back to his ship and find out what the problem was. Shepard assumed that once the Normandy got back into space they would be able to activate there radar and see what was blocking there comms.

Mordin wasn't about to give up the data stored in the small complex that easily. "Someone blocked communication. This implies that they know this data is valuable and do not want us to take it."

Shepard thought about this for a second, the doctor was right. Someone obviously knew about this place and probably couldn't gain access to it and since they blocked the comms only after the door was open…it hit Shepard suddenly. He looked over at Mordin. "They were waiting on us….they knew we were coming."

"All the more reason we should get the data fast." Said Mordin still pushing for Shepard to let them stay longer.

Tali called over from the exit near the tunnel."Shepard were all ready. Are we still leaving?"

Shepard thought fast he knew they didn't have much time before whatever was planned would happen. "Garrus take everyone who isn't needed for the data transfer and get back to the ship. I'll wait and meet you back up at the LZ when it's done copying." Shepard knew they needed the data but he also didn't want to endanger his team by keeping them here.

Tali rushed over to Shepard. "Shepard NO!..either your coming with us are were staying." Tali's voice was obviously worried about leaving Shepard behind but she tried to hide the concern behind anger so he would know she was serious.

Mordin was about to say something else when Garrus grabbed his shoulder and motioned for them to start heading to the Hammerhead waiting outside.

Once all the team except for two Marines had left Shepard gently grabbed Tali's arm and pulled her right in front of him. "Tali…like I said before, I lost you once…I won't make that mistake twice, I'll be right back but I can't focus if I think you're in danger. Please go with Garrus and help EDI fix the comms." Shepard spoke quietly and soft.

Tali looked up at him and he could tell she was worried. "Just…just make it back Shepard….if you don't I'll come back and drag you with me." Tali was hiding her emotions as she had been for so many years. Shepard knew she was more worried then she let on.

"Trust me Tali, I won't leave you. Now go…hurry up and get out of here." Shepard was speaking soft but firm he needed her to realize she had to go.

Tali slowly and reluctantly turned around and headed down the tunnel catching up to the rest of the team.

Shepard turned around to the two Marines that had returned to their terminals and began copying the rest of the data.

Shepard walked over to the pair. "How much time do you need?" Shepards voice was back to its original stern, harsh and disciplined tone.

Lance Corporal Spell a young Marine that was currently in charge of getting the data transfer complete responded quickly. "About forty five minutes left."

Damn it. Thought Shepard as he heard the Marine speak. He knew they would not have that kind of time. Whoever blocked there comms was probably on their way and Shepard could think of no one that would know about this place besides Harbinger.

From what Shepard could tell this was a complex similar to the one on Illios. Smaller and less protected, but from the vast stories of data the Protheans must have built it with the intent that someone would find it and make use of it and it seemed the Reapers wanted it destroyed….along with him.

_Twenty Three minutes later._

Shepard was getting impatient he couldn't talk to the Normandy due to the rock blocking short range comms, and he couldn't leave the complex while the data was still transferring. As he thought about all the scenarios that might happen he began getting worried about Tali. "_Damn it, I hope she got back to the ship safe." _Shepard didn't like waiting around like this however he didn't have to for very long.

Just as Shepard was beginning to calm himself down he heard a loud crash outside the complex and the entire room shifted violently. Shepard stumbled to keep his balance as another loud crash hit then another and another. It seemed like the whole planet was being bombarded but he couldn't tell sitting in the small room.

The crashed stopped and everything was quiet except for the rings in the room emitting a low hum. Shepard and the two Marines stopped moving waiting for a sound.

Lance Corporal Spell activated his Omni-Tool and looked up at Shepard shocked. "Dear God!...Unknown life forms are headed to the Normandy's position!" He spoke fast and looked back down at his Omni-Tool. "There's too many for me to count!"

Shepard turned around and began sprinting to the tunnel."COME ON! We need to get back there now!" Shepard's voice was filled with anger and fear. He immediately knew the Collectors were going to severe his escape route by destroying the Normandy which meant Tali was in grave danger.

Lance Corporal Spell yelled after the Commander "Wait!...if we leave the Collectors will destroy this facility and the data will be lost!"

Shepard spun around quickly and hammered back. "I don't give a damn what happens to this relic I'm going back, stay here if you want but that Alliance issue amour isn't going to protect you from what's coming!" Shepard saw the two Marines start to follow him as he spun around again and continued his aggressive sprint outside.

The two Marines were having a hard time keeping up with Shepards pace and they fell behind. He didn't care the only thing that mattered was getting back to Tali. Shepard thought quickly as he ran down the dark tunnel. "_She's all I have; I can't lose her I won't lose her!"_ He hadn't been this scared since he had seen her buried underneath rubble at the Collector Base right before it was decimated with the charges he had placed. At the time he didn't know why he cared for her so much but now he did and he wasn't going to let the enemy take the one chance at a normal life he had left.

Shepard shot out of the tunnel and kept running not slowing down, not breathing, only running and keeping Tali in his mind so he would know why he had to hurry.

Shepard suddenly realized he had past the mountain and his mike would work. He pushed the button on his helmet and yelled into it. "EDI STATUS REPORT!"

EDI's voice filled his helmet with her same calm relaxed tone. "Collectors have begun attacking all sides; we are also unable to take off. The Collectors have damaged the ships main thrusters and I need time to calibrate it so we may leave." Shepard could here fighting going on behind her voice.

Shepard did not like what he heard. He glanced behind him and saw the two Marines still struggling to keep up and replied to EDI. "Is everyone at the ship?!"

"Everyone is accounted for except you and your team." EDI voice still calm and collected even with sounds of gunfire in the background.

"Were almost there EDI!..How much longer until we can leave?" Sheppard panted between words trying to keep a rhythm going so he wouldn't slow down.

EDI replied to Shepard. "Eight minutes until we may lea" Her voice was cut off by Joker.

"Commander we need to get the hell out of here NOW!" Joker was clearly and understandably nervous about what was going on around him.

Shepard snapped back. "I'm at the*" Shepard stopped. He had cleared the forest and was in the open area were the Normandy had landed. He could see waves of Collector drones running toward the ship but being cut down by the lethal squads of Marines and his team behind the barricades they had only recently erected.

Shepard drenched in his sweat from the run began glowing with biotic energy. He spotted a Scion preparing a burst of energy to throw at his men and unleashed himself. Shepard charged towards the large unknowing creature and screamed a blood curdling cry as he did.

He ripped through the disgusting creature with ease and looked for his next target, his eyes turned bright red and his own body craved another kill. Filled with bloodlust he reached for his Revenant light machine gun and began firing it as he speed towards his next target with biotic propelled force.

The two Marines that had been following Shepard exited the forest into the clearing just in time to see the Commander ripping apart his latest enemy with a biotic blast. They ran for the barricades to join the rest of their squad but noticed a large hovering creature floating in their way.

Lance Corporal Spell reached around him and retrieved his ML-77 Rocket Launcher and began firing volleys into the creature. He yelled at Private First class Arenando the Marine that had been with him. "GET BEHIND THE WALL I'LL DISTRACT IT!" The young PFC did as he was tolled and ran to the barricade leaping over it to get behind safety. He looked back over the wall he had jumped behind and stared in horror as the hovering creature slammed into his comrade ripping him to shreds. Stunned momentarily by the gruesome sight he quickly remembered his training and instinctively began firing his weapon at the hovering creature.

Shepard ran over to the barricade and saw Garrus directing the small army into various positions telling them where to shoot.

Most of the Marines were in good condition however Shepard noticed a few of them were being hauled into the Normandy with wounds that varied from a bullet shot to a sucking chest wound made from a biotic warp.

Shepard ran to Garrus who was taking pock shots with his rifle behind a few crates while screaming at the Marines through his mike.

Shepard crotched down beside Garrus and noticed a few new scraps on the Tuarian amour."What's the situation?!" Asked Shepard shouting so his comrade would hear him over the battle.

Garrus didn't stop to look at Shepard he kept aiming down his scope towards a Praetorian that was slowly hovering towards a lone Marine firing at it with no hope of even breaking its barrier.

Garrus fired a single accurate slug that punched through the hovering tanks layers of armor causing it to fall to the ground obviously wounded badly. Garrus smiled as he saw the Marine that had almost been killed by it stand up and take advantage of the creature while it was down.

Garrus looked over at Shepard. "Same as always, were getting hammered while waiting on someone to do something!" Garrus sounded calm even though the raging battle was all around him. "But, were holding are ground and the enemies died are piling up!"

Shepard ejected a clip from his weapon and looked at Garrus again. "weres Tal*" A scion fired its artillery like gun towards the barricade they were hiding behind interrupting Shepard. Shepard stood up and unloaded his weapons magazine into the creature.

Shepard sat back down. "weres Tali?" he asked again this time able to finish his sentence.

Garrus grinned and replied. "Tali's on the other side of the ship with the Hammerhead. She's got grunt and Jacob with her so I'm sure she's fine. Everyone else is sp*" Shepard interrupted him by standing up and sprinting across cover to were Garrus had said Tali was.

Garrus laughed in his head as he thought about Shepard falling for the young Quarian, but was brought back to the battle at hand when a scream echoed across the field grabbed his attention and he began directing the squads again.

Shepard rushed underneath one of the Ships rear engines and spotted Tali bandaging up a wounded Marine behind a sturdy looking crate with the Hammerhead a few yards away firing barrages into the Collector waves.

He started to run over to her but stopped as he saw a Drone begin to convulse and rise up in the air. He knew all too well what this meant.

He looked over at Tali who was preoccupied with wounded Marine and didn't notice the large creature approaching her. Shepard's eyes began to glow again and he felt the urge to destroy something rising up in his chest. He wasn't going to let anything hurt Tali……


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter.6  
Consequences

Shepard looked down at his opponent who had just fallen to the ground in a pool of its own discolored blood. He looked around the field hoping to quench his thirst for violence once more.

Shepard spotted his next victim; a group of drones were advancing on a Marine position and were hammering them with their beam like weapons. Shepard grinned as threw down his Revenant, he wanted to feel the enemies flesh tear under his hands.

Shepard held his breath and then made his move. He charged forward into the group of drones unleashing a storm of biotic energy as he did. Still grinning to himself Shepard ripped apart each drone; he used his immense power with such accuracy and finesse that it rivaled that of a doctor using a scalpel.

Covered in the mysterious liquid that irrupted from the Collectors that he had just finished tearing to pieces, Shepard ripped off his helmet and threw it to the ground. He couldn't focus with it restricting his view, and he preferred looking into the enemies eyes as he massacred them.

Shepard heard a faint voice in his ear, it was EDI trying to tell Shepard that the repairs were done and they could leave. However to Shepard the voice was a shrill pain that dug into his ear, he removed the earpiece like it was a bug trying to devour its way into his skull.

Joker screamed into his mike."Were the Hell is Shepard! We need to leave NOW!" Joker had been trying to get a hold off Shepard for some time, but due to Shepard bloodlust and pure rage he was not responding to any form of civil communications.

Grunt rounded a corner and saw Shepard a few yards away, without thinking Grunt rushed to Shepard he hoped to get Shepard attention so they could escape this planet.

Grunt grabbed Shepard shoulder and spun him around yelling as he did."Shepard were leaving get your ass on the ship!"

Grunt realized something was wrong with Shepard, his face was cracked open and his cybernetics were pushing themselves out of his own flesh slowly growing with each pulse of Shepard blood. His eyes had become an inferno filled with hate slowly fueling the fires.

Shepard couldn't think, he couldn't stop and he couldn't seem to differentiate between friend and foe. Shepards body pulsed with a dark red light that emitted from his core, it gave him a aura of pure fear to those near him.

Shepard grabbed Grunt by his massive chest and heaved him into a pile of crates and fallen Collectors. Grunt slammed into the ground still conscious but confused as to what exactly just happened.

He stood up and yelled into his mike. "Something's wrong with Shepard! He doesn't want to leave!" Grunt had to shout loudly even for him just so the crew could hear him over the sporadic gunfire that had been going on for too long.

Tali was helping EDI calibrate the engines with her Omni-Tool kneeling on the ground beside the ramp that lead up to the Normandy. She stopped typing on her Omni-Tool when she heard Grunts startling report.

Tali yelled to Garrus and Jack who were laying down suppressing fire with the rest of the team in an attempt to keep the Collectors at bay.

"Garrus! Jack! We have to go get Shepard!" Tali's voice was covered in fear; she didn't know what was happening with Shepard. The last time she had seen him he was helping Garrus cover a group of Marines tending to a wounded comrade.

Garrus and Jack followed Tali weaving in and out of various obstacles that littered the LZ. They passed the remains of the Hammerhead which was now a chard ruin with the bodies of two Marines half way out of the top hatch as if they were still trying to escape the burning tank which had now become there tomb.

Tali was the first to see Shepard she started to run to him but was stopped by Grunt who had obviously been watching Shepards actions.

Grunt spoke loudly but clearly. "Hold on Tali!..His not going to recognize you! Wait here me and Jack will drag him back on the ship!"

Tali slapped Grunts hand of her shoulder and ran to Shepard. Grunt yelled after her to stop but his voice was masked by the sounds of battle coming from all around them. Garrus was trying to run after her in an attempt to stop her; however he was cut short when a round from a Collector disrupted his shields forcing him to take cover.

Shepard had a drone on the ground with its will to fight long gone. Shepard was pulverizing the know deformed drone into a pulpy mess of unidentifiable parts.

Tali ran to him and grabbed his arm. He spun around when she touched him and glowed again with biotic energy ready to destroy his next opponent.

However something deep in back of his mind told him he knew this figure standing before him, he couldn't focus enough to realize who she was.

He stared at her and appeared calm and relaxed despite the rounds flying around him from another wave of Collectors that was too far away to have any accuracy.

His body began to relax, and the tension in his muscles gave up their struggle and complied with his mind which was now regaining control. His dark red biotic aura transformed back into a light blue, his eyes dimmed from blood red to their original light blue color, and his skin began closing up around the glowing cybernetics covering them up only leaving small scares.

He spoke one word quietly and soft. "Tali?" he sounded as if he doubted his eyes, like they were playing tricks on him and were not showing him the truth.

Tali reached around him and hugged him relived that he had recognized her and known who she was. She ignored the raging battle around them, for just that second nothing moved, nothing happened that interrupted the two.

Shepard was startled when she had hugged him, but he immediately came to and remembered who she was. He embraced her closing her body within his, hiding her from the dangers of war around them.

There moment was quickly ended by Jack screaming from a nearby barricade that was covered in holes and burn marks.

"HEY! NOW IS NOT THE TIME! GO GET YOUR ASSES ON THE SHIP!" Jack was infuriated by the two that seemed oblivious to the combat.

Shepard grabbed Tali's shoulder and spoke softly to her barely able to be heard over the surrounding sounds.

"Tali go get on the ship I'm right behind you. I need to make sure all my men make it." Shepard leaned in towards her as he spoke.

Tali nodded her head showing she understood. She ran over to the Hammerhead and then turned around and saw that Shepard hadn't moved she meet his gaze for a few seconds then continued her sprint.

After Tali disappeared from Shepards view, he ran over to Revenant and picked it up along with his helmet. He checked them both quickly before equipping them and reading up.

Garrus yelled over to Shepard from some cover. "ARE YOU STILL CRAZY?! ARE CAN WE LEAVE!" Garrus's facial expression was hard to read since he was a tuarian but Shepard could tell he was ready to be far away from this planet.

Shepard turned around and unleashed a final barrage of shockwaves towards the incoming Collectors before running to Garrus's side.

"Let's get out ah here!" Shepard's voice was calm but had a since of urgency in it.

Garrus nodded in agreement of Shepard recent idea and jumped up firing his rifle as he did.

Shepard pushed Garrus towards the Normandy and motioned his head for him to go. Garrus complied and ran to the ship followed by Jack.

Grunt casually lumbered over to Shepard and yelled to him.

"When we get back on the ship we gota have a talk!...just you and me.." Grunt grinned slightly as he did.

Shepard smiled and yelled back. "Come on let's go!" They both sprinted towards the Normandy.  
When Shepard reached the other side of the ship he saw the Marines had erected a second layer of defenses around the Normandy ramp leading up to the entrance. The Collectors were gradually gaining ground and had already acquired the first few barricades using them as cover for their own advancement.

Shepard ran up the ramp stopping half way and taking a knee firing his weapon as support for the Marines limping up to the ship.

Shepard helped the last Marine up putting one of his arms over his shoulder and carrying him up. Garrus was standing in the hatch firing off a few last rounds as Shepard entered the ship.

Shepard helped the Marine sit down and then ran over to Jokers cockpit.

"Is everyone on board?!" Shepard had given up trying to hide his concern and his voice was now very nervous.

Joker punched in a few numbers on the console and yelled back to the commander "everyone's accounted for."

"Then get us off this rock." Replied Shepard in stern excited voice.

The Normandy shifted and lifted up in the air turning towards the sky as it did. The Collectors were firing blindly at it trying to stop in but there attempts were in vain.

The ship paused once it was facing the sky then shot forward like a jet screeching down a runway. The Normandy quickly passed through the atmosphere and was back in space.

Shepard turned around slowly looking over the gruesome sight of bent armor, broken bones, and bloodied corpses lying thought CIC. The crews were taking them all down to the med bay, but progress was slow since most of the crew that wasn't needed to fly the ship was the ones that were injuried.

Shepard started to go help the wounded when Private First class Arenando stepped in front of him with a grim look on his face.

"Shepard." His voice was slow and he was obviously tired. "Shepard, me and the crew left a little present back at the LZ." Arenando handed him a small remote and smiled widely through a bloodied face.

Shepard grinned with the PFC and pushed the small black button. He handed him the remote back and put a hand on his shoulder and said.

"We'll see more of those bastards again and when we do we can leave um and hell of a lot more." Shepard took his hand of the PFC's shoulder and turned around.

Shepard started to go to the navigation desk to plot there next course when he saw Tali standing by herself near the door to the armory. He turned around to Joker and said.

"Plot the damn course yourself this time…I'm busy." Shepard walked over to Tali and took her hands in his and lead her into the armory were they could be alone.

Joker looked over at EDI and smirked.

"Figures one time I have a perfect opportunity to make fun of him and the only one here is a damn glowing head." Joker laughed to himself and then started punching in the coordinates.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter.7  
Incident.

Shepard stood beside Joker watching the miraculous display of ships orbiting around the Citadel, most of them lazily drifting along waiting for a conformation to dock at one of the ports in the wards.

The Normandy was allowed to bypass the conformation check and head straight to a C-Sec port that was reserved for more important members of society. This saved Shepard from having to wait around on the ship and make small talk with Joker, who was at the moment still upset with the Commander for delaying their escape from the Collectors.

Shepard still hadn't figured out what happened to him back on Arul when he had apparently gone berserk and started slaying anything near him. All Shepard could remember was blacking out when he saw the Collector evolve into a Harbinger and start advancing on Tali, he had some memory of the battle but most of it was distorted and he didn't understand why.

Joker suddenly spoke into his mike."This is SSV Normandy making final approach to hanger T-34." Joker's voice was monotone compared to his usual slyness.

Shepard adjusted his uniform slightly trying to make sure he looked appropriate for the Alliance soldiers and civilians that recognized him. He had been the target of numerous media organizations lately, due to his high level security clearance and lack of secrecy on confidential matters; he wanted to rectify his mistake by looking professional just in case he was ambushed by a throng of media fanatics.

The Normandy touched down in its assigned hanger and was grabbed onto by the padded arms of the hanger's walls that securely anchored it to the ground.

Shepard turned around as he heard footsteps coming up behind him. It was Garrus who was closely followed by Tali, they were both looking at Shepard in his fancy Alliance N7 uniform, it was surprisingly simple for a ceremonial uniform consisting of only a dark gray shirt and pants with the Alliance emblem on the left pectoral muscle and the N7 emblem on his right shoulder with a red line behind it.

"You're looking…spiffy today Shepard." Garrus stopped in front of Shepard as he talked, his voice was dry and he sounded tired.

Joker spoke up from his pilot chair without turning around. "Well after you risk the lives of your entire crew just so you can kill something you normally need to act nice for a few days." Joker was obviously pissed at the Commander, not that he didn't have a reason. Most of the crew where worried about Shepard but only Joker was outright mad at him.

Shepard ignored Jokers comment and hoped he would eventually get over the incident. Shepard shifted his weight so that his attention was on Tali who was standing a few inches closer to him then Garrus.

Shepard smiled at Tali, and spoke in a reassuring voice. "Well if the media tries to get us again I plan on being prepared. Anyway are you two ready?'

After Tali and Garrus reassured Shepard they were ready the group made their way to the C-sec customs and processing.

Shepard and his small escort made their way through customs and avoided the crowds easily with the use of Shepards spectre status.

Once past the C-Sec hive they started their way to Anderson's office. Shepard had sent Anderson a report of what happened with the  
Prothean bunker and how the Collectors attacked them. A few hours after Shepard sent the message he received a reply asking him to return to the Citadel and discuss the Collector threat in person. At the tail end of the message Anderson informed Shepard that he was not comfortable talking over comms and that he would tell him more once he arrived.

Anderson was sitting in his large extravagant office admiring the view of the presidium when the door behind him slid open reveling Shepard and his team.

Anderson stood up from his chair and walked over to greet the group, he seemed apprehensive and hurried when approaching them.

"Shepard, I'm glad you made it. We need to talk about something important." Anderson walked over to the ledge that looked over the presidium and was followed by Shepard. Tali and Garrus both took a seat in a small waiting area near the door to his office.

"What's this all about?" Shepard asked nervously.

Anderson put his hands on the railing that bordered the ledge of his office."Something bad has happened…After you were ambushed on Arul I began to do some digging to see what Alliance scout ship had detected that bunker" Anderson took his hands off the railing and looked at Shepard with a grimace.

"Shepard. The Alliance didn't have any ships operating in the entire Osul Cluster, there's no way one of our ships could have detected it."

"Then how did you find out about it, it's not like anyone can add false information to the Alliance system." Shepard protested.

"That's why this worries me, there must be someone working in the Alliance that has been indoctrinated." Anderson spoke the last words slowly trying to convey his sense of desperation across to Shepard who had already picked up on it.

Shepard shook his head trying to grasp what he had just been told. "Have you told anyone besides me?" Shepard asked.

"No, I don't know who or how many are indoctrinated so I felt it would be safer to keep this personal." Replied Anderson talking even slower than before.

"There's one more thing that concerns me Shepard. While you were on your way here I received a report that a vessel matching the description of the Collectors was spotted near the Exodus Cluster relay. That relay leads to Earth." Anderson shifted his weight after he finished his sentence and looked at Shepard face awaiting a grim response.

Shepard didn't show any emotion on his face instead he focused on the facts. He thought quickly trying to decide what his next course of action should be.

Shepard took a deep breath in and responded to Anderson after a few seconds of uneasy silence. "Nothing's changed; I still have to investigate the sighting." Shepard didn't like the idea of exposing himself a second time to the Collectors ambush but he knew there wasn't much of choice since the only thing he could besides investigate the ship was to wander aimlessly throughout the galaxy hoping to stumble on something use full.

"Normally I would disagree with you, but this time you're right. I would send you some Alliance forces to help you but I'm afraid that if I did it would draw attention and the spy would tell the Collectors who would probably just disappear." Anderson walked back over to his desk and sat down.

Shepard followed Anderson and stood beside his desk still contemplating whether he made the right decision. "I'll look for something use full in the Collector ship and send you a report to your private terminal, I don't think the spy has access to that." Shepard said with a determined resolve having already made up his mind that he was going to investigate.

Anderson looked up at Shepard from his chair. "I don't envy you Shepard, but good luck in there. Just remember that anyone could be one of the indoctrinated so watch your back and don't rely too heavily on the Normandy's stealth systems. If they can add false information they can probably look at real information."

"Don't worry Councilor, if anything goes wrong or you don't hear back from me just send in the Calvary" Shepard replied with a hint of sarcasm trying to brighten the dark future that lay ahead.

Shepard turned and started walking toward the door when Anderson spoke up behind him. "Oh and Shepard."He spun around to see what the councilor wanted."Nice uniform." Shepard grinned and nodded his head at Anderson. Shepard left the office followed by his small team that had been patiently waiting the entire time.

Once they were headed back to the ship Garrus was the first to speak up, sensing Shepard discomfort after the meeting he tried to pry some information out of him only to be met with."I'll brief everyone once were on the ship." Garrus gave up trying to ask and simply followed Shepard.

The group was walking past a store that had been broken into and had shards of glass lying inside of it everywhere. There were a few C-sec guards standing around the entrance obviously posted to keep everyone out until someone who had the authority to investigate arrived.

Tali lingered a little behind the group and slowed her pace to observe the scene. She was looking at the safe mounted on the far wall of the store, it had been cut open with a powerful torch of some kind and Tali was intrigued by the display.

One of the C-sec guards noticed her looking over the store. He was a human and appeared to be a rookie by the lack of ornaments on his uniform. The guard approached Tali and spoke to her in a tone that was anything but courteous.

"What are you doing here Quarian, and why are you staring?" The way the guard said Quarian made it sound like more of an insult then a fact.

Tali was startled by the guard who appeared suspicious for no reason. She looked back towards Shepard and Garrus who were stuck trying to navigate a mob of multispecies groups and having a hard time doing so, she was about to ignore the pestering guard and walk back over to her companions when the guard stepped forward and became too close for comfort .

"Hey! Answer me Quarian, it's a simple question." The guard had heard about Quarians being scavengers and thieves and was eager to impress his superior by solving a case that hadn't even been started yet.

Tali looked back at the guard and shot back with."Mind your own business." She started to turn around and walk away but the guard grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Get your hands off me you bosh'tet!" Tali exclaimed slapping the guards hand of her arm.

"Why don't you just come with me since you're so cooperative." He said with a smug satisfaction, believing that all the stereotypes he had heard about Quarians were true.

He grabbed both her arms more forcefully this time and jerked her around so her back was facing him. Tali infuriated at this ignorant guard lashed out and used her powerful right leg to kick him square in the chest, sending him sprawling.

He landed hard on his chest and jumped back up. The only thing that was hurt was his ego which he probably never had much of anyway.

The other two guards spotted the commotion and rushed to aid there friend who was already on his feet and headed back over to the Quarian who was walking toward a crowd.

The guard sprinted to catch up to Tali and grabbed her arm again once he was within reach. He knocked her feet out from under her with his right leg catching her off guard she fell to the ground. Tali was tired of dealing with the guard and used her free hand to elbow him in the face causing his nose to bleed. He staggered back long enough for her to get up to her knees.

The guard cursed and withdrew a small weapon that resembled a box with two darts in one end. It was a taser and if he had been a guard long he would have known using such a weapon on a Quarian could penetrate its suit and possibly kill it.

The guard aimed at Tali as she stood up. He fired his weapon just as she turned to see it deflected by a blue pulse of energy.

She turned back around and saw Shepard glowing blue, he did not look happy. Shepard began walking to the guard with large powerful strides; still glowing brightly he picked up the guard with a biotic lift and pulled him close. The guard looked terrified, he had never faced a biotic before and didn't know what to do, he screamed loud enough for everyone to stop and look realizing what was happening everyone stared.

The other guards withdrew pistols and aimed at Shepard. None of Shepards team was armed our armored except for a knife and a pistol that they all carried just as a precaution.

Garrus just stood back and waited for the guards to do something stupid enough to give Shepard a reason to flatten them, while Tali folded her arms and observed the scared floating guard amused at his screams.

Shepard didn't need a weapon he was a moving weapons platform with enough biotic energy to tear through a dreadnaughts hull; however Shepard was unaware of his power at this time which left him highly unstable and unpredictable in combat.

The guards yelled at Shepard to put there companion down, Shepard was unresponsive to their calls. He was fighting back the growing urge to rip the guard in half for hurting Tali, however another part of him simply wanted to kill this guard so he could exercise his power.

The guard with the most stripes on his uniform yelled at Shepard again this time more direct. "Put him down our will fire on you!" There was a brief hesitation were no one moved, Tali glanced over at Shepard and assumed he was going to put the guard down and inform them he was a spectre which would have ended it all. Tali was surprised when she saw a faint smile spread across Shepards lips and his eyes were glaring at the guards as if taunting them to fire.

Tali rushed to Shepard's side and put a hand on his shoulder he jerked his head back to her and the smile left his face. He looked down at the ground as if ashamed; he dropped the guard on the ground and pulled out his identification. After a short talk with the group of guards and a series of apologize from the rookie who started everything Shepard and his team began heading back to the Normandy.

Once back on board Garrus went to the armory to check his gear, already assuming whatever news Shepard had involved combat. Tali and Shepard went to the elevator together in silence, both of them afraid to mention what was happening to Shepard.

Once the elevator opened up in the Captains quarters Shepard rushed over to his private head and began washing his face thoroughly looking up after every splash of water to observe his scars. Tali sat down on the couch and leaned forward contemplating how to discuss what was going on.

Shepard after he had gotten done scrubbing his face in a vain attempt to remove the scars walked over to the bright blue fish tank and crossed his arms. Tali stood up and walked over standing beside him, glancing at him from the corner of her mask.

Shepard suddenly turned to her and hugged her; he was filled with remorse and fear. Not fear over the coming war but fear as to what it was doing to him and how it would affect their relationship. Tali hugged the commander back crying softly as she did.

He moved his head so that she could look into his eyes."Tali, I want you to know that no matter what happens…I love you."

Tali kept staring into his eyes transfixed on them."I love you too Shepard, but I'm scared at what's happening to you…I don't know what is making you so distant at times but I feel like its growing and…..and…." She stopped to cry; through her sobs Shepard could hear her saying."You're all I have; you're the only one I've ever had."

Shepard held her even closer wrapping his arms around her. He felt the same way about her, he had never been emotionally attracted to anyone before her and she sparked something deep inside him that made him want to be with her.

Shepard spoke again softly and just above a whisper. "I'll never leave you Tali, I'll always be there."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter.8  
Reason to Kill.

Shepard leaned against a crate in the shadows of the Normandy's hanger bay, silently observing the new Marines that had just been assigned to the Normandy to replace the ones lost on Arul.

He made a note in his head how each one acted whether they were cocky, smart, or strong all of these traits were needed in some form or another when the fighting started.

Shepard personal team had their own little space of to the side of the hanger most of them sitting on the new Hammerhead lounging around waiting for the word to fight. The Commander had always been amused by his team's method of ignoring the Marines, especially Jack who would try to bully them only to be meet with laughs and inappropriate comments about her appearance which usually lead to many physical injuries.

Suddenly the hanger filled with Jokers voice and all the laughs and talking stopped. "We got something on the radar. Its readings are similar to the Collector ship we destroyed." Joker's voice seemed busy and hesitant.

Shepard clicked the button on his helmet and spoke to Joker; he had already thought it out how they would face the Collector ship. The only thing he didn't know about was if they were expecting him and what they were doing.

"Get us close Joker, try to look for an opening in the ship's hull we can use for a raiding party and pray the new stealth systems work." Shepard replied.

Shepard kept thinking back to Arul when he lost conscious and on the Citadel when he had a sudden urge to fight. He couldn't push these thoughts aside and focus on the mission it was making him uneasy. "_If Tali hadn't stopped me…I would have killed those guards, I'm sure I would have."_ Thought Shepard as he continued to observe the teams from the corner of the hanger.

Suddenly a voice spoke up beside him. "Shepard, what are you doing back here?" The voice belonged to Tali, she had been making some last minute changes to the stealth systems before coming down to the hanger to prep with the rest of teams.

Shepard was slightly startled; he had been engrossed in his mind. Wondering what was causing him to crave violence. He spoke back to Tali in a soft voice once he regained his composure."I'm thinking about what were going to find over on the ship, that is if we find anything at all." Shepard lied; he didn't want Tali to know just how concerned he was about his little 'outbursts'.

Tali leaned against the crate beside Shepard trying to relax herself against its hard surface. "We'll find out soon enough I guess." Said Tali in a somewhat reassuring voice.

Shepard looked at Tali silently, admiring her figure in the little bit of light that illuminated the hanger. Shepard spoke up uncomfortably. "I think you should stay behind on this one Tali, were not sure what's over there and*" Tali cut him off in mid sentence, by putting one of her long fingers up to his lips.

"Shepard..I'm going with you, we may need to analyze the ship and we both now you can't do that without me." Tali spoke clearly and very direct trying to convince Shepard she had to go.

Shepard was glad to see she still had that fire in her that he admired so much, however another part of him was worried and wanted to ask her again to stay but he knew that would be a mistake.

The Commander leaned back against the crate and sighed he was glad to have reassurance she was going; even if it did worry him at least he would be beside her the entire time.

Joker's voice bellowed through the hanger again this time not interrupting anyone. "EDI found something that resembles a dock; I already uploaded the coordinates to the Kodiak so just say the word and I'll bring us in." Joker sounded very concerned about the plan, which was understandable considering the Collectors history.

Shepard once again clicked his helmets mike. "Alright Joker bring us in slow and quiet were mounting up."

Shepard went over to the groups and motioned for them to listen."Alright we've got a Collector vessel that we know is active and they could be waiting for us, Garrus, Arenando, and Grunt you're with me. The rest of you know what to do, make damn sure if they try to board us that they learn what fear is. Oorah?" All the Marines sounded back at Shepard with a loud and testosterone filled voice Oorah.

Shepard clapped his hands once."Alright let's make it happen!" After a short pause were most of the Marines kissed there crosses around there neck, and made short prayers they began splitting up into fire teams to help cover the entire ship.

Shepard looked over his raiding party and motioned with his head for them to get in the Kodiak, he glanced at Tali standing beside him and whispered a few short reassuring words to her before they both jumped in the ship behind everyone else.

_20 minutes later…._

The Kodiak had touched down on a crusted terrace inside the Collector ship. The ship itself was much smaller than the previous one they had faced, it looked about the same except its front was one solid mass of rock and its sides had small glowing yellow lights that shone brightly in the dark space.

Shepard was ahead of the small team walking slowly inside the small corridor of the enemy ship. The corridor was empty besides a few rocks protruding from the sides and a occasional sack like clump hanging from the ceiling.

"Contacts?" asked Shepard taking a knee and waiting for a response.

"Negative. I got nothing on short range scanners but there is movement ahead." Replied Arenando after checking his Omni-Tool.

Shepard made a quick thrust with his right hand and began advancing again this time more slowly.

The small team moved deeper into the ship making quick stops to scan, according to the scans they were surrounded by movement on all sides but yet nothing moved near them.

The hallway they had been traveling down slowly narrowed into a light grey door that was obviously locked. Shepard looked at the console and before he could say anything Tali was already at work.

The door lurched open after a few second reveling a large room with different sections that seemed to either rise up or lower, it looked like a storage room but the only thing in it were strange looking rocks that looked like they were about to fall apart.

Shepard and his team cautiously stepped into the room making mental notes of where to go if shooting started. They stopped once they had all gone a few feet inside; Shepard took a knee and whispered over the comm."Anything in here a terminal?" Shepard made sure to be quiet even though the Kodiak made a hell of a racket landing.

Arenando looked at his Omni-Tool again and pointed to an elevated rise in the middle of the room. "I'm picking up some reading from that position, it distorted on account of all the movement my scanners picking up….must be a malfunction." Arenando looked curiously at his Omni-Tool not sure whether to trust it.

Shepard's eyes jumped around the room looking for some sign of life. "Alright…Garrus you wait here and cover are exit with Tali, Grunt, Arenando were going to check on that terminal." Shepard made a quick glance back at Tali and nodded his head trying to reassure himself more than her.

Shepard and his smaller team made their way up the platforms to the position Arenando had mentioned, it was a good thing he left Garrus to cover them since they had to set their weapons down to boost themselves up onto the different platforms that lead up which left them very vulnerable.

Shepard was the first to reach the terminal followed by Arenando, Grunt lurched himself halfway up then just rolled on his stomach to get a good footing to stand up on. Arenando chuckled after seeing the massive Krogan struggle to get up the little ledge; Grunt pushed his way past Arenando making sure to hit him with his shoulder as he did.

Grunt stood beside Shepard who was already typing something into the console."See anything Shepard?" Asked Grunt in his heavy voice.

Shepard replied without taking his eyes off the small illuminated screen. "Looks like the ship was on a expeditionary mission to Sol but it looks like they changed their course to idle around the Exodus Cluster. There's some more readings but I can't tell what they say." Shepard activated his Omni-Tool and ran it across the screen.

"EDI I'm sending you some data from the ship. This time make sure it's clean before you activate it." Shepard grinned remembering how pissed he had been last time that happened.

EDI replied back into his helmet."Information received processing now. Suggest you depart from the ship immediately to avoid detection, we have what we require."

"Alright were on our way out, make sure Joker is ready to pick us up on our*" Shepard was interrupted by a cracking sound that seemed to surround them.

Suddenly the rock formations they had passed on their way up to the terminal began falling apart and shacking violently. Everyone was stunned silently watching in fear as the formations crackled apart.

Shepard yelled into his mike once he regained his balance from the rumbling in the room. "Garrus get Tali out of here were right behind you!" Shepard made a few last adjustments to the terminal and turned around to leave.

Garrus replied quickly."Sorry Commander you told us to watch your exit so you better get down here if you want us to go." Garrus sounded calm despite the strange phenomenon occurring.

"Grunt, Arenando GO!" The two squad members began rapidly jumping from platform to platform making their way down.

Shepard followed behind them quickly picking up his pace. He stole a quick glance up to see Tali behind Garrus doing something with her Omni-Tool.

Shepard was about to catch up with the rest of the team when a crash knocked him to his feet.

Shepard had some dirt and rocks scattered on top of him, he opened his eyes looking through his visor. His eyes stung with sweat and he blinked quickly in a fruitless attempt to clear them. His head rang with a sharp stinging sound; he rolled over to his stomach and tried to stand up. The debris fell of his back and joined the large clumps on the ground.

Shepard on his hands and knees made a quick glance around the room trying to find his team; instead he was met with the gaze of unfamiliar figure standing in front of him. Shepard quickly fumbled for his Revenant that had been covered in rubble during the crash.

He found his weapon buried beneath the rubble, he grabbed the massive firearm and looked up. He was almost ready to fight; almost ready to destroy the strange figure ahead of him but before he could perform any action he was grabbed by a large heavy hand.

The hand grabbed him tightly around the throat as it pulled him up off the ground; he tried to point his weapon at the creature but lost his grip and his mighty weapon fell to the ground into the piles of rock. Shepard looked up at the creature and his eyes focused to see that it was Harbingers minion. Shepard grabbed the large glowing creature's arm and tried to loosen its grip but to no avail.

Shepard began to fill lightheaded and knew Harbinger was draining the last of his life out of him; he started to give up and let the feeling of death take him once more. He began to forget about hope and lose his sense of reality.

It was then when Shepard's spirit failed him and he wanted to let go, but then he heard it. A faint and distant scream, a scream of terror and fear that awakened him. Shepard felt a familiar feeling wash over him when he heard that scream.

He turned his head as far as he could with the hand still choking him; he saw a small figure bending over a Turain that was lying on the ground. The small figure he instantly recognized as Tali, she was in trouble and he didn't see anyone there for her.

Shepards heart began to increase in beats and its sound filled his head. All he heard was the loud thumping of his heart as it raced to awaken the part of him that he needed…but feared.

His eyes shut and his entire body tensed, he was shaking and convulsing his heart fueled with hate began to increase again. He let the strange feeling take over his mind and allowed it to shut off his senses; he knew he needed to cooperate in order to save Tali.

His eyes finally irrupted and showered the creature in front of him in a dark red light, his entire body glowed with hate, anger, and power.

The minion began to act nervous and it shifted its weight trying to understand what its victim was doing.

Shepard quickly placed a hand on the creatures face and let a force irrupt from his hand that shattered the minion's body, shredding its once powerful figure into a mass of flesh.

Shepard's feet hit the ground and he turned towards the figure that had caused him to break free of his certain death. He couldn't recognize the figure anymore all he knew is that it was in need of his protection. His mind was buried beneath an unknown power that swelled inside him, and he enjoyed the strange sensation.

Shepard targeted the nearest enemy that threatened the figure he knew, he charged forward propelled by the unleashed storm of power in him. Shepard brought his right hand down over the enemy causing a stream of biotic energy to rip through the fleshy creature. He looked around the room and began destroying the fleshy creatures that were strewn about the room, one by one he ripped them apart causing the contents of their insides to spray out over the room.

Shepard was enjoying the exercise; he had wanted a chance to destroy something and now was his chance. He once again began removing his helmet and gear that restrained his movement, he heard nothing but the shrill sounds emitted from his victims as he ended there pathetic existence.

Tali helped Garrus up and yelled at him over the chaos behind her. "We need to get Shepard, his still over by the terminal!" Tali's voice was drenched in fear and worry. She had seen Shepard fall behind a large rock and needed to go help him.

Tali hid behind a small pile of rubble with Garrus and peered over the edge. She saw Grunt and the young Marine running back to the door were she was at. Grunt dropped down beside her and started firing his weapon at the hordes of drones that had broken free from the small rocks that seemed to act like a stasis pod.

Grunt growled over the combat ahead of him. "Shepards doing it again!"

Tali looked over at him confused and worried."What are talking about?" she cried.

Grunt looked back at her and replied. "We saw him start going crazy again, I think he is*" Grunt stopped and pointed with his gun towards a bloodied and crazed Shepard.

Tali whispered under her breath."Keelah no." she stared after the blood thirsty demon that had buried Shepard beneath itself.

Shepard effortlessly removed the head of another drone from the rest of its body and once again shot forward to his next target. He had decimated the Collector forces which were now only a few small groups that remained alone on the uneven battleground strewn about with disgusting corpses.

Shepard made quick work of the last few drones by making a fist with his hand and drawing in his biotic power until the amount satisfied him, he then released his fist towards the last group which were thrown against a far wall and reduced to pieces upon impact.

Tali stood up from her hiding spot and looked over the battleground, she had attempted to stop Shepard but had been stopped by Grunt who refused to let her walk into a massacre.

Tali ran into the open area of the room and looked around trying to find her love. Grunt, Garrus, and Arenando joined her. Garrus had been hit in the shoulder during the fight but was patched up with some medi-gel and was doing fine.

Garrus spotted Shepard standing near a pile of recently deceased Collectors, He was breathing deeply in and out.

The small group rushed over to him and stopped a few feet away nervous about his reaction to them.

Shepards body was covered in the Collectors fluid, he was glowing red with a biotic force, and an occasional red spark would jump across his body. His eyes shown like spotlights brightly illuminating the body of corpses as he stared at them.

Tali was the only one that moved, she stepped forward to Shepard and softly said his name. "Shepard?.." she sounded worried but not afraid. She quickly raced to him, as she neared him he turned to face her.

She stopped just a few inches from him, she stared into his bright eyes almost unable to look past the bright light that shown from them. She suddenly spoke again. "Shepard, don't you know who I am?" She asked on the brink of tears.

She kept looking at him waiting for a response she began to say his name again. "Shep*" her voice was cut off by the sound of Shepard screaming. He fell to the ground on his hands and knees, Tali rushed over to hold him but when she touched him she was thrown back by some unknown force that surrounded Shepard.

A tear ran down Shepard's face, he suddenly convulsed again and was brought into the air. He felt the hatred within him die and the anger he only moments ago used to slaughter the Collectors faded away. He fell back down to the ground, his body had closed up and no longer glowed red. His eyes had gone back to their original light blue, and he felt emotions wash over him as he looked up at Tali's motionless figure on the ground. He stood up and rushed to her side, he knelt down beside her forgetting everything that just happened.

Tears were streaming down his face uncontrollable and painful, he thought quickly to himself as he knelt down beside her. "This can't be happening, if you killed her you bastard I'll kill you!" His whole body was filled with grief over Tali; he couldn't believe what had just transpired. He bit down on his tongue causing it to bleed profusely, he didn't notice it nor did he notice the Collector blood that covered him.

He gently put a hand around her head and looked into her mask. "Tali" he spoke softly and just loud enough for her to hear.

Tali's bright silver eyes fluttered open when she heard him speak her name. She looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. "Welcome back Shepard."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter.9  
Lessons in Fear.

Tali was almost too the elevator when she heard Doctor Chakwas yell behind her. "Tali where do you think you're going? I told you to stay in the medical bay until I could further evaluate your condition." She sounded irritated.

Tali slowly turned around to face her enforcer trying to think of a good argument to use."I'm fine doctor; I told you before. I sealed my suit as soon as it ruptured there is no infection." Tali stated trying to sound bold to get away from the doctor.

Chakwas looked at the ground then back up at Tali. "Alright, fine go evaluate something in engineering and when you get a cold come back here and see me." Said a still irritated Doctor Chakwas.

Tali waited until Chakwas had disappeared from view before pushing the top button on the elevator which lead to the captain's cabin.

When Tali stepped through the doors of Shepard room she immediately knew all was not well. The air was filled with the smell of alcohol, and the lights were out. Tali went over to the switch and turned on the lights revealing an array of empty bottles on Shepard desk. She started to look around trying to find the sad lonely creature that inhabited this lair, instead she was only meet with pieces of bloody amour scattered about the room and a few broken glasses.

Tali started to turn around and rush down to tell the others that the commander was missing but before she could make it to the elevator the hatch to the private head slide open reveling a recently showered and shaved tan figure.

Shepard was startled to see Tali here among the carnage of his room; he started to go back in the head to get properly dressed since all he was wearing was a towel around his waist but then remembered he had no clothes in there.

"Tali I thought you were going to stay in medical for a while." Said Shepard his voice sounded somewhat embarrassed.

Tali rubbed her hands nervously and looked down at them not wanting to stare at Shepard since he was almost naked. "I….I convinced the doctor that I was fine and staying down there wasn't going to help my health." Tali sounded even more embarrassed then Shepard and very nervous.

After a short silence where they both pondered the others thoughts Shepard spoke up quietly and somberly."You should probably go…I don't want to…." Shepard voice stopped abruptly. He didn't want to talk about his current mental state to the women he loved and was afraid the mention of it would somehow cause it to happen again.

Tali took a step towards him and as she did Shepard shunned himself from her looking at the ground quickly trying to avoid eye contact.

Shepard thought to himself quickly as she approached. "_No she can't stay here it's not safe with me…if it even is me."_

Tali took one of his hands in hers and held it tightly. She forgot about her anxiety and was determined to show Shepard just how much she loved him. "You don't have to hide yourself from me Shepard; I don't care about what happened. That was an accident and I know you would never hurt me on purpose." Tali's emotions were clear even through her mask.

Tali didn't know when she first started to love Shepard but she knew that she had waited too long to reveal her feelings to him.

Shepard looked into Tali's bright silver eyes that laid motionless on his. He wanted to be with her but was afraid. He didn't recognize the emotion of fear and love they were both foreign to him. All his life had been filled with determination and action there was never any time for fear or love, no room for these luxuries of a normal life.

Shepard broke the silence but kept his eyes trained on her own beautiful deep silver eyes. "I love you Tali and if you're alright with my…condition I want nothing more out of this life then to be with you." Shepard's own resolve to show his affection had increased with each word.

Tali suddenly broke the stare and hugged his bare chest. She pressed herself against him feeling safe within his grasp. She realized that being near him was the only time she felt safe and wanted. He was a shield for her always standing resilient and strong against anything thrown at her. He had watched over her ever since they had meet and now that he was back within her grasp she dared not let go for fear she would lose him again.

Tali slowly backed up away from Shepard so she could speak to him more clearly and inform him of her recent exploit. "Before I left the medical bay Shepard, I borrowed some items that will strengthen my immune system and I thought since we have some time to ourselves…" Tali's voice trailed off, she was nervous again but this time she was also excited and eager.

Shepard felt an uncontrollable grin spread across his face as the young girl spoke. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had often admired Tali's figure but always thought of their relationship as purely emotional love and never believed they would be able to consummate it.

Tali looked at the tall commander curious as to whether the grin was a good or bad sign.

Shepard was happy about Tali's decision but worried about her true feelings. He spoke softly and affectionately. "Tali are you sure about this, you don't owe me anything and this is something I want to make sure you're ok with."

Tali smiled under her mask relieved at the commanders caring response. She was nervous but knew he had her best interests in mind and would not do anything she didn't desire. Tali nodded her head at Shepard in a rapid motion that made Shepard smile again this time not hiding it.

He took her hand and led her to the bed were they both sat down beside each other. She was visibly nervous by the way she grinded her hands together. She spoke up as Shepard was looking into her mask wishing to see her face. "I've taken the proper medication and everything should be fine, but I'm still nervous and I want you to know that I want this." Her voice was giving away her excitement as much as her apprehensiveness.

Shepard reached up to remove the mask; she guided his hands with hers to help him find the latch that sealed her helmet. He slowly and carefully released the mask from the rest of the suit; he held the mask in his hands for a moment listening to her stammer on nervously.

He pulled back the mask revealing her face, a flawless and untouched face with a light violet shade to it. Shepard could see long black strands of hair behind her face and wished to see the rest of her body to see what other surprises she had kept hidden. He sat the mask down on the floor carefully without looking, too focused on her beautiful face.

She looked up at Shepard nervously praying that he would still want to go forward after he saw her face. She looked into his eyes and thought to herself how the deep blue aura of his eyes seemed to go on forever.

She saw a smile spread across the Commanders lips and suddenly craved their attention. She pushed him back onto the bed leaving all her apprehensiveness behind, deciding instead to fulfill her dream of showing the commander her feelings and body without the presence of fear.

Once the commander was on his back she pressed her soft lips against his, she was unsure if she was kissing him properly but when he put his hand to her face and she felt his rough skin against hers she felt energized and alive with feeling.

They finally parted lips and breathed heavily causing moisture to form on their skin. She looked at him and smiled, free of the bonds that had held her from this strong human, she had never been more excited and in love then she was at this moment. Tali breathed deeply with a faint hum in her soft voice. "You're going to need to save your strength commander."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter.10  
Softest Touch.

"Tali, are you sure you want to keep going?" Shepard said in a soft affectionate voice.

Tali was straddled on top of Shepard leaning close to his face still breathing heavily from their first kiss

Tali responded by leaning back on her thighs and smiling at Shepard. She had sat down on Shepard waist and unknowingly caused him to twitch with anticipation. The smile vanished from her lips as she saw Shepard jump suddenly, thinking that she had done something wrong she repositioned herself so that her thighs were on his legs.

Shepard laughed at the sign of embarrassment in Tali's face. "It's ok Tali, I was just…getting eager." Said Shepard in a reassuring voice.

Hearing that Shepard was eager made Tali smile again and grow very aroused. She took Shepard's hands in her own and led them to the back of her suit. She helped him find the ports on her back that would release her from the small prison.

Shepard carefully turned the latch and felt the suit give way; he took the weight of the suit in his arms and pulled it away from her. Tali blushed slightly and quickly covered her exposed breasts; still nervous about showing her figure to the man she loved….

Shepard held the suit in his arms and was awestruck by the radiant glow of beauty that was Tali. She looked down at the side of the bed not wanting to see Shepard expression just yet.

Tali's body was a small figure with a light shade of violet that matched her face, her hair fell back out of the suit and draped over her shoulders. Her hair was a dark black color with a faint tint of blue that you could only see if the light was right.

Shepard began to feel his heart beat rapidly and uncontrollably, he slowly stammered out. "Tali, you're beautiful."

Tali looked up into Shepard eyes that were focused on her body, she grabbed her suit that he still held in his arms and threw it over to the side of the room. She pressed her body against his and felt his strong bare chest against her own small soft frame.

Shepard put his hand behind Tali's head feeling her soft hair and pressed her lips into his, the two suddenly exploded with life and energy as if the kiss caused there lust to grow ferociously.

Tali laid down beside Shepard and allowed him to get off his back, he quickly positioned himself over Tali and grabbed at the towel around his waist. He threw the towel somewhere behind him and looked down at Tali who was caressing his chest.

Tali was fascinated at the unknown anatomy of Shepards body and lusted to explore it. She was feeling his broad chest and caught herself staring at a part of Shepard she never knew existed. She quickly looked back up into Shepard's eyes and saw him smiling at her curiosity.

Tali shivered slightly and felt cold after being exposed from her suit. Shepard saw her shudder and rub her hands against her sides, he grabbed at the covers next to them saying. "I think I know how to warm you up." He smiled slightly as he talked eager to feel her skin.

Tali cuddled up against the warm sheets and felt the heat from Shepard above her. She pushed down on the lower part of her suit that was the same as pants, now that the chest piece was removed. Shepard gladly helped her remove the last piece of the suit and tossed them out from under the covers once they were removed.

Tali felt exposed not being in her suit, but she also felt wanted and loved. These feelings were new to her and she desired to share them with her only love.

The insides of the covers were filled with heat, moisture, and an intense burning of lust that was driven by a more dominant feeling of love.

The couple stared into each other's eyes for a moment reading into their partner's very soul. The young spectre spoke with a passionate love that made his voice sound like a guardian angel speaking to its only love."Tali, are you still ok. We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Tali bit her bottom lip with anticipation and replied back softly. "Yes, Shepard please."

Shepard being directly above Tali lowered his head and kissed her gently on the lips, he slowly started kissing her check and worked his lips down to her neck. Tali arched her back after feeling his soft lips caress her neck; Tali felt nerves that she never knew she possessed start to release inside of her…

Shepard was moving his lips to her chest and feeling her soft delicate skin beneath them.

The young commander lifted up and looked into Tali's beautiful silver eyes; they were glowing at him and showed her willingness to go on.

Shepard laid down beside Tali and began feeling her smooth legs with his hand. He moved his hand up and gently stroked her thighs.

Tali was irrupting with a series of sense in her body, she griped at the covers beside her head and held them tightly restraining her body from forcing the commander to increase his speed.

Shepard wanted Tali to feel her own senses and know what was happening before he truly consummated there love. He slowly and carefully massaged the warmth between Tali's legs, being careful to read her body language so that he did not stress her.

The young Quarian had never felt this strange emotion inside of her and was taken back by the immense pleasure it gave her. Tali had never allowed herself to enjoy simple the simple pleasures of life and always focused on helping others, but at this moment she allowed herself to enjoy and embrace the love Shepard gave to her.

The commander was watching Tali continue to arch her back in the secluded den of the covers. He admired her beauty and was in awe of her elegant features. The way her skin looked with the thin layer of sweat covering the lovely violet hue of her skin, the slight curve in her eyes that held the bright glow of silver within them.

Shepard noticed Tali was breathing faster and began convulsing, he strengthened his motions making her convulse even more. Her eyes closed and she inhaled deeply. Tali's body tensed up suddenly and she gripped the bed tighter with her delicate hands.

Tali let out a gasp of air, arching her back even farther into the air.

Shepard laid his hand on her soft chest, waiting for her to regain her composure. She slowly relaxed and sunk back into the bed, she took deep breaths of air and looked over at Shepard.

Tali's eyes fluttered open as she turned to Shepard, he meet her gaze and for a long time they laid there looking into each other's eyes.

Once Tali had collected her breath she spoke quietly still breathing slightly with each word. "Shepard, I'm ready." She smiled with the last word determined to pleasure this man that had given her so much and never asked for anything in return.

Shepard smiled back at Tali and lifted himself back on top of her being careful to put his weight in his arms.

Shepard still looking into Tali's beautiful eyes waited for her to give him one last conformation that she was willing, he was determined to make this perfect for her and would never move on without her being ready.

After a moment Tali realized Shepard was nervous about this last event and needed conformation to continue. She reached down and put her hands behind Shepards waist.

Tali put a little force behind her hands and nodded her head, letting Shepard know she was ready.

Shepard felt a surge of lust grow inside of him but restrained himself to a slow rhythm being careful not to cause displeasure to Tali.

Tali felt the warmth grow and desired more, she could tell Shepard did too by the way he clinched his body holding back his lust. Tali began pushing her hips into Shepard as he came down with each rhythm; she rolled her hips making her own rhythm to match Shepards. Tali began moving faster and harder with each push of her hips, she enjoyed the sensation Shepard was giving her and wanted them both to feel more.

Shepard was pleasantly surprised when Tali increased her speed and he made sure to meet it with his own increase in speed. Together they moved as one and shared each other's deepest emotions and desires.

They breathed heavily and profuse amounts sweat began rising up from their skin, keeping their body's moist and alive with motion.

Tali began letting out a low moan with each thrust and arched her back again. The sound of Tali enjoying the deep pleasure made Shepard unknowingly increase his speed breathing even harder as he did.

Tali looked up into Shepard eyes that were going over her naked body. He looked back into her eyes and lowered his head to hers gently pressing his lips to hers as he did. Tali aggressively bit Shepards bottom lip as he began pulling them away from hers, he grinned back at her as she let him rise up.

As Shepard raised up he pulled the covers off them allowing there body's to feel the cool air.

Shepard closed his eyes feeling his body convulse and tense up; he felt Tali do the same beneath him and further increased his motion.

Tali was nearing her climax and kept looking up at Shepard smiling softly as she saw him clinch up his body.

There body's exploded at the same time unlocking the deep pleasure that had been residing within each of them for so long.

Shepard exhausted laid down beside Tali, as he did Tali cuddled up next to him.

Shepard stroked her long black hair that enveloped the pillow behind her; he smiled as she rubbed her face against his hand.

They both relaxed for a moment on the bed allowing there body's to breathe and regain themselves. Tali looked up at Shepard. "Shepard after this is all over, and….the war ends….what happens then betw*"

Shepard cut her off by putting a finger to her delicate violet lips."After this is over, and we no longer have the weight of the galaxy on us….I will stand beside you and help you in any way I can for as long as time will permit me. I love you Tali and before I die… if you are willing…I'm going to marry you." 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter.11  
Old Wounds.

Shepard took another sip from the warm coffee he had just retrieved from the machine on his desk. He sat on his couch silently observing Tali's sleeping figure, gazing at her beautiful figure watching every breath she took.

He thought quietly to himself. A_ll the horrible things I've done in my life and yet God still sees a reason to give me someone like her. I'm not going to waste this chance….this one chance I have at a normal life."_

There was silence in the room; all Shepard could hear was the pulsing of his heart and the delicate breathing of Tali's figure.

He looked down at his watch and saw that she needed to get back in her suit soon to avoid a possible infection.

He reluctantly stood up and sat his coffee down on the table, he slowly walked to her sleeping figure and sat down beside her.

"Tali." Shepard gently whispered. "Tali…Tali you need to get up."

Tali rolled over and faced Shepard, her eyes fluttered open and reveled the dazzling lights within them. Tali yawned quietly and ended it with a small high pitched squeaking noise.

A wide smile spread across Shepard's face when he heard her cute yawn.

Tali pushed herself up off her back and leaned against the headboard."Already, it seems like only a few moments ago that I took…I mean _you took_ it off." Tali said with a suggestive grin.

Shepard leaned over and kissed her soft, moist lips stroking her beautiful hair as he did. He leaned back away from her face just far enough to speak but still very close. "Next time I see your gorgeous body…..I'll be sure to put another smile on your face…"

Tali giggled after seeing Shepard raise one eyebrow and look at her with a very suggestive look. "I'll be sure to remember those words." Tali said competitively as she grabbed Shepard's shoulder and pulled him into her.

Shepard laughed as he was forcefully pulled. Tali began kissing Shepard as he struggled to talk between assaults from her lips. "Tali" She kissed him again. "Tali, you need to put your…suit back on."

Tali sighed regretfully and pulled her face back from Shepard's. "Your right. But when I find some more anti biotics were resuming this conversation." Tali said with a bit of force in her voice.

Shepard stood up from the bed and walked over to the door, he turned around as the door slid open. Tali was searching for the pieces of her suit that had become projectiles during the _confrontation. _"After I give Anderson my report from the collector ship I'll be sure to talk to Mordin about some getting some improved anti biotics." Shepard spoke slowly, too focused on Tali's naked figure searching the room to formulate a real sentence.

Tali looked up at Shepard and crossed her arms after seeing him stand there with his mouth half way open and a blank look on his face.

".....You know Shepard the sooner you finish that report the sooner you can find a way for us to get together again .." Tali sounded amused at Shepard's facial expression. At first she was worried about him not being attracted to her, but after last night she decided there was nothing to worry about.

Shepard shook his head and closed his mouth. "Yea of course. I'll see you soon sexy." Shepard sarcastically responded as he turned around to go to CIC.

Tali laughed and resumed her search thinking happily to herself. "_This is the best thing that's happened to me, Keelah I hope he was serious about what he said last night._ "

Shepard arrived at joker's station and lightly slapped the back of his seat. Joker looked up and after seeing who it was smiled widely.

"Well…..it's nice of you to join us commander….so… Andersons been waiting for you to call him for the past 6 hours, but uhhh…EDI wouldn't let me page you are send someone up to get you….any _reason_ why? Joker was obviously enjoying tormenting Shepard.

Shepard replied in a serious tone. "That's a need to know basis…and you don't….so just patch Anderson through to the comm room already."

Shepard turned around and headed for the briefing room, but not before hearing Joker comment on how nice it must be to get jumped and not have anything break. Shepard spun around and yelled back. "EDI! KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE DAMN SECURITY MONITORS!"

Shepard resumed his walk to the briefing room, he was embarrassed but he liked having people know he had something normal going on in his otherwise dangerous and depressing world.

Shepard stepped into the hologram and a saw Anderson speaking to a small group of what looked like Alliance officials. As soon as the group saw Shepard they snapped to attention and gave a formal salute. Shepard casual returned the gesture without going to attention.

Anderson quickly went over to his desk and pushed a few buttons before telling the group to leave. Once they were all gone he put his hands behind his back and looked down at Shepard from his nose. "Well, Commander….I hope you have a damn good reason for making me wait so long." He didn't sound upset but tried to appear so.

Shepard quickly replied with a pre formulated response. "Sorry Councilor, I had important business to attend to."

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "…. Well whatever reason it was, we have more pressing matters. I have my research team looking into the Collector ship you took out. There finding a lot of evidence that points to the reapers, I may be able to convince the council there real." Anderson spoke fast and sounded pleased at the news.

Shepard didn't really care what the council thought, they had never helped him before and there was no reason they would start, but he managed to work up a smile for the Councilors sake. "That's good news, found anything I can use?"

Anderson went over to his desk and sat down. "No, not yet. Were bound to find something you can use, but for now were empty handed. There is one thing I would like for you to do though…..PFC Arenando gave me his report on what happened in the ship…..and..it seems your having some problems." Anderson's voice sounded grim.

Shepard became defensive and shouted back at Anderson. "That's none of your damn business!"

Anderson put up his hands and calmly replied. "I didn't mean to upset you….it's just that your all this galaxy has to defend itself from the reapers…And I don't want anything wrong with you.'

Shepard sighed and looked down at the ground. "Yea…well there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do." Shepard replied somberly.

"Well…You could contact your old boss." Anderson spoke quietly without looking at Shepard.

Shepard tensed up after hearing mention of his old tyrant. "I don't like that idea…but they would know what's going on."

Anderson stood up and casually walked closer to the hologram of Shepard. "I'm not telling you to do anything, but we need you at one hundred percent when the reapers arrive. Just do what you think is best and for the love of God…be careful."

Shepard nodded and the hologram closed down leaving him in an empty room. He stood still for a second and contemplated his choices…the few that he had at least.

After a brief period of silence he made up his mind. Shepard pushed the button on the front of EDI's terminal. "EDI get me the illusive man." He spoke with a gritty determination, trying to reassure himself this was the right thing to do.

EDI's voice replied back softly. "It is done. It may take some time to receive a response how*" EDI's voice stopped suddenly for a few seconds before resuming again. "He has already replied, patching through now." EDI's voice shut off.

Shepard wasn't surprised that the illusive man was so quick to reply, he was ready though. He knew the illusive man's tricks and ways to persuade you, Shepard was determined not to be taken in by any of them.

The hologram once again surrounded Shepard and placed him in front of the pale white figure. The illusive man had his hands on either arm of his chair and looked curiously at a very angry Shepard.

The illusive man spoke up in his usual emotionless voice. "Shepard…this is unexpected. I thought you weren't going to have anything else to do with us."

Shepard crossed his arms and held back a growing desire to attempt to shoot the figure. Even though he knew it wouldn't work it would have made him feel better.

Shepard replied back in a harsh voice. "Normally I wouldn't even think about talking to you, but right now you have some explaining to do. What is happening to me?"

The illusive man shifted his weight unnerved by Shepard's reply. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Shepard was infuriated, the illusive man always knew more than he let on and Shepard was in no mood for games. "You know damn well what I'm talking about! What did you do to me! Why am I losing control over my biotics! I WANT ANWSER!" Growled Shepard.

The illusive man stood up from his chair and looked out the window behind him, Shepard was breathing heavy and his patience was wearing thin. He didn't want to talk to the illusive man anymore then he had to and the illusive man seemed determined to drag out there conversation.

The illusive man spoke to Shepard without turning around. "I'm not sure off this…but…your probably suffering from the advanced cybernetics inside of you, they are…constructed from reaper technology and are meant to enhance your biotic power."

Shepard was stunned he took a step back, he knew that Cerberus had the ability to acquire reaper technology and the illusive man had no reason to lie…that he knew of.

Shepard slowly stammered out a sentence. "You….You put…reaper material inside of me?"

The illusive man turned around and faced Shepard. "It was meant to keep you from being indoctrinated. We assumed since you have been and were going to be around reapers you should have a defense against their mind control. So we implanted you with cybernetics designed from pieces of Sovereign. They enhance everything you do; they make you stronger and more able to take on your enemy's. However we knew there would be risks, we were performing tests on a young biotic to find ways to control this risk…..but she was taken from us….from me. She has years of research within her, and if you could recover her for me…….I could augment your cybernetics and allow you full control."

Shepard was listening attentively, following every word looking for a way to rid himself of this curse. Now that the illusive man had told him the cure….he wasn't sure. Shepard spoke up with a fire in his voice. "So what? You want me to go kidnap a kid so you can cut him open and look for me a cure!?"

The illusive man sat back down in his chair and looked up at Shepard. "Of course not, and it's a she. No harm will come to her; all we want to do is analyze the cybernetics within her. We can do that without _cutting_ her open….were not monsters after all."

Shepard didn't know what to do. He thought about asking the illusive man how he lost her, but he knew the illusive man would just lie. Shepard saw no other options but to at least try this route.

Shepard was silent for a few seconds contemplating his choices once again. He spoke up after he had decided. "Alright. Relay me the info you have on her….and if you try anything so help me God….I'll make you suffer for all you have done." As Shepard spoke he clinched up his fists and conveyed a aura of hatred that even the illusive man could feel.

"Very well Shepard, I'll send EDI the info and it will be just like old times. The girls name is Gillian…Gillian Grayson and I expect you to retrieve her soon for me."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter.12  
Exposed Love.

Tali paced back and forth behind Jokers chair as she spoke angrily. "He lied to you Shepard, this is a trap. He will try to infiltrate the Flotilla again."

EDI had just finished informing Shepard, Garrus and Tali about Gillian. The data the illusive man sent was very sketchy and had numerous holes in it.

Shepard was leaning against the wall and thinking quietly to himself, trying to find a way around giving the young girl to Cerberus. He had not told the crew about the reaper technology inside of him, instead he had just told them that he had unstable parts in him that were malfunctioning and the girl knew how to control them. He hated lying but didn't think they would be comfortable around him knowing he was an abomination.

Shepard looked up at Tali who was waiting for a response. "Were not going to give her to Cerberus. We all know that's not an option, but I need to speak with her…and figure out what I can do about my…problem."

Miranda walked up behind the group and stepped in front of Shepard, cutting his view of Tali off.

"Cerberus will defiantly try something on this; they invested enormous sums of resources into her….as well as you Shepard. If you give her to them and allow them to '_augment_' you…..you probably won't wake up the same man." Miranda said triumphantly.

Shepard was glad to hear her talk down about Cerberus, he had been skeptical at first about her true loyalty but everyday she proved him wrong.

Shepard pushed of the wall and shifted his weight on one leg. "Alright, so we need to find this girl and see what she can do about….me. The only place we know to look is the Migrant fleet. Tali are you ok with this? I don't want you to think were endangering your people." Shepard said in a kind, comforting voice.

Tali looked up through the window into the empty space, thinking about whether it was a smart decision to return to the fleet. "_The Normandy and its crew are Alliance, but who knows what tricks the illusive man could have planned" _Tali looked over at Shepard who was staring at the ground. "_Shepard wouldn't let anything happen to us. Besides he needs this to help his problem, and I…I need him to be safe." _Tali having made her decision breathed in a deep breath and spoke.

"We have to do this, without her your...problems could increase and we can't let that happen." Tali said with a bit of fear in her voice.

Shepard put a hand on her shoulder; he sensed that she was afraid and tired of this constant fighting that waged on around them. They both wanted it to end, but they had to find this girl. "_Without this girl I could lose myself…I could lose Tali." _Shepard thought as he looked into Tali's helmet.

The group was silent as Shepard comforted Tali, they all had their suspicions about the two but had no confirmation. Shepard comforting Tali only added to the future gossip that would be spilled out whenever the two weren't present.

Tali nodded her head at Shepard letting him know she was fine. The commander turned to Joker and slapped the chair beside his head, making Joker jump. "Set a course for the fleet Joker, and alert me when we get close." Ordered the commander as he turned around to walk to the main deck leaving the group behind except for Tali who followed closely.

Miranda watched the two walk away and when they were out of hearing distance she leaned over beside Joker and asked him. "So what's going on Joker? You've known those two for a long time…is anything*"

Garrus who had been standing by the airlock cut her off. "I can answer that one, but it's really none of our business."

Miranda replied back sharply. "I'm only looking out for their best interest and I want to make sure there both ok with the mission."

Garrus laughed and looked down at Miranda who was very small compared to the Turian. "Their best interest hu? Somehow I doubt that, I've seen the way you look at Shepard…and it says a LOT more then you think." Garrus snapped back.

Miranda turned around and crossed her arms. "Who says I don't look at you that way." Miranda gasped after she had realized she spoke out loud and made a quick dash to the elevator, leaving Garrus standing there stunned.

Joker was in an uproar of laughter. "Oh my God! The racist Cerberus queen has a thing for Garrus! This is so good it has to be fattening."

Garrus shook his head in disbelief. "Damn…well that was…unexpected."

A sly look spread across Garrus's face and he walked toward the elevator were Miranda had retreated to.

Joker snickered to himself. "At least I didn't mention the recording of Tali and Shepard I have."

EDI's face appeared beside Joker. "You no longer possess those recordings, I deleted them."

Joker looked over at EDI appalled. "WHAT!...Why?"

"I deemed them unnecessary and a violation of privacy standards." Replied EDI.

Joker sighed. "Well shit. I could have used those to get him to buy me an extranet connection." Joker said in a defeated tone.

_3 Hours later…_

Shepard and Tali had fallen asleep holding each other tenderly, they both had smiles across their faces and were content to stay where they were for much longer but Joker made sure to interrupt.

"Commander, were 15 minutes out from the Migrant fleet…you and Tali should hurry up…and _no_ this isn't on speaker only you two can hear me. Sooooo rise and shine thee who are too far away to cause physical harm to me." Joker said happily.

Tali groaned and shouted back at the intercom. "I have a shotgun."

"uhh…point taken." Joker's voice clicked off.

Shepard sighed and brushed his hand against the side of Tali's helmet; she nuzzled her covered face closer to his hand and purred softly.

"Shepard?" Tali said innocently.

"Yes, Tali?" Shepard tried to reply softly, but years of shouting and fighting had caused his voice to grow very coarse and rough.

"I just wanted to know if you were serious….about what you said the other night." Tali replied as she raised herself up off her back and leaned against the headboard.

Shepard smiled at her question and spoke back reassuringly. "Don't worry Tali, I've spent too much of my life fighting and when this last war is done…were going to focus on us. We'll do anything you want to do and never look back on all this sadness."

Tali felt better after hearing him reassure her, she had wanted to be with Shepard for so long and now that she was with him there was no time to have to themselves.

"Thank you Shepard, I'd like that." Tali said affectionately.

Shepard leaned a little closer to her."And maybe that damn immune system of yours will start to trust me, so we can enjoy some _personal_ time." Shepard said jokingly.

Tali pushed him slightly in the shoulder. "You big bosh'tet." She replied sarcastically.

Shepard stood up from the bed and leaned over scooping her up in his arms. She giggled softly as he picked her up off the bed.

"Where are you taking me?" Tali said curiously.

Shepard smiled and replied. "To see Joker of course where else would we go?"

Tali laughed. "You do realize that they'll suspect were together with you carrying me?"

Shepard kicked the door release with his foot, and headed to the elevator. "It'll give them something to gossip about." He said jokingly.

As the elevator closed and headed down the two lovers held each other intimately, focusing their love into each other's eyes since they could not physically touch one another.

After a few seconds of pure silence filled with love between the two, the door slid open reveling a startled crew.

Shepard began his proud march over to Jokers station still holding Tali as she buried her face in his chest trying to hide her already hidden face filled with embarrassment.

Thane was standing off to the side watching the two when a smile spread across his face and he tried to give a big 'thumbs up', but due to the nature of his hands it looked more like he was pointing at them.

Shepard had a wide smile spread across his face as if he was holding a prize that he had earned.

When Shepard reached Jokers station he let Tali down gently and she coughed slightly trying to mask her embarrassment.

Joker just laughed at the two's antics and began patching through to the Migrant fleet.

Joker pushed a few button and looked up at Tali. "Alright communications are patching through…make sure to restrain yourselves while talking to them though…wouldn't want them to think we were unprofessional now would we?"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter.12  
Unexpected Arrival.

"Permission to dock with the Vorsen granted, proceed to docking cradle 4." The Quarian's voice clicked off the mike and the only thing left to hear was the faint hum of the millions of ships traveling in the Flotilla.

Tali glanced over at Shepard. "So what exactly are you going to tell them?" She sounded worried and for good reason, if the fleet knew that the illusive was the one that sent Shepard they wouldn't let him speak to Gillian.

Shepard looked up from the console he had been reading that was filled with small green dots showing all the nearby ships as they closely passed by. "I'm not going to mention Cerberus…not that it really matters after all we decided not to give her to them. All we want to do is talk to her nothing more. "

"Let's hope they believe you." Sighed Tali, relieved to know that Shepard had a plain.

Joker kept typing in the coordinates making sure the Normandy docked properly and said without looking up from his station. "I don't see why they would turn us down; after all we did save one of their ships."

Shepard was about to tell him about Tali's trail and how he had spoke down to them, but the sound of the Normandy attaching to the Vorsen cut him off.

He turned around towards the airlock and secured his helmet, making sure the seals were properly working. "Come on, they'll be eager to know why we're here. "Said Shepard as Tali and Garrus turned to follow him.

The airlock on the Vorsen covered the small team in a sterilization spray that removed all foreign contamination. Once it was completed the doors parted and reveled a small room occupied by about eight Quarians. The Quarians appeared nervous and uncomfortable about the group of intimidating strangers, despite their concerns none of the Quarians had drawn there assault rifles which remained stored on their backs folded up.

The room was a long rectangular structure with numerous doors on one side that appeared to be more airlocks. The room itself was a light brown rust color and had crates scattered about it in a disorganized fashion.

The Shepard stepped out of the airlock and was greeted by a small Quarian who held up a hand signaling him to stop.

Shepard complied and stopped beside another pile of crates and boxes that all appeared to be welded shut. Garrus stayed behind Shepard as Tali stepped forward to meet with the Quarian.

"We need to speak with the captain." Said Tali in a demanding voice.

The same Quarian that had signaled Shepard to stop replied back in a smug voice. "The _Admiral_ already wanted to see you, were suppose to escort you to the bridge immediately."

Shepard stepped forward and asked. "What Admiral?"

The small Quarian replied back proudly. "Zaal'Koris vas Qwib Qwib."

Shepard glanced back at Tali and laughed behind his helmet. The group of Quarian's looked confused after hearing Shepard laugh, but before they could inquire what was so funny Shepard started walking toward them and spoke still smiling beneath his helmet. "Well let's get this over with."

The group of Quarian's eager to be away from this strange group turned around and lead Shepard and his team toward a large door at the end of the room.

The small Quarian that acted as the leader typed some numbers into a console next to the door. After he was finished he took a step away from the console and stood in front of the door, after a few seconds were Shepard thought the door was stuck it slowly creaked open.

Behind the door was a wide room filled with small cubicles occupying every bit of available space. Each cubicle was very small and made of a thin metallic material that was covered in various pieces of colorful cloth. Quarians were moving in and out of the corridors conversing with one another as they passed by; a few Quarians were rummaging through a series of large bins that were filled with strange looking parts and objects.

It took Shepard's eyes a minute to adjust to the room's bright lights overhead, he glanced up at them and noticed that the ceiling was much closer than he had assumed.

The group began walking through narrow corridors between the cubicles. Most of the Quarians looked at them curiously, but were quick to continue their previous duty.

Shepard glanced into a few of the cubicles and saw Quarians sitting on the floor performing various tasks. Some cubicles he passed by were empty and others were occupied by as many as four Quarians in the small space. All of them were either looking at data pads, doing something with a small stove, or were laying on their beds trying to sleep.

The group passed by numerous rows of cubicles, all of them organized into fairly straight lines.

Shepard glanced over at Tali who was looking around the room as if expecting someone.

"Tali, Everything alright?" Asked Shepard.

Tali breathed in and looked back over at Shepard. "It's nothing, just….always hard to come back home." Tali's voice was drenched in sorrow and she yearned to help her people.

Shepard reached out and gently gripped her shoulder; he looked in her eyes and nodded his head. No words were spoken but each of them knew what the other meant.

Shepard let go of her shoulder and they continued their way to the bridge.

They eventually made it to a large door guarded by two Quarians, who leaned against the nearby wall causally. One of the two guards typed a few button on a nearby console and the door opened up for the small group.

The bridge itself was a small square room with one wall made into a large window that surveyed numerous ships in the fleet. There were a few Quarians at their duty stations, rapidly typing into various consoles and terminals that filled the room.

A tall Quarian in a pink suit that Shepard assumed was Zaal'Koris turned around and addressed the Quarian that had lead them here. After a few seconds the escort group turned and left the room, leaving Shepard and his team behind.

The tall Quarian walked over and nodded his head. "Shepard, this is an unexpected surprise."

Shepard knew from the voice that is was Zaal'Koris. Shepard crossed his arms and shifted his weight. "Well I have to say I didn't think they would send me to your ship." Shepard spoke harshly.

Zaal'Koris chuckled lightly and replied."Well that makes two of us, but I hope our past _engagement_ doesn't cause too much tension between us…I was only doing my job."

Shepar dropped his arms to his sides and spoke back this time with less hostility."Well your job wasn't to involve politics were they weren't needed, but I didn't come here to argue semantics. I need to speak with someone in the fleet."

Tali sighed in relief that Shepard had avoided insulting the Admiral.

"Anyone in particular, are should I guess?" Zaal'Koris tried to sound imposing, but his attempt failed.

Shepard breathed in slightly."Gillian Grayson."

Zaal'Koris turned around and looked out the window overlooking the fleet."That might be a problem…for multiple reasons."

"What do mean?" Shepard asked.

Zaal'Koris turned back around and faced the group. "Well she isn't here. Her and the rest of the Idenna are gone. They left on an expedition some time ago and are not scheduled to return for a few more months."

Shepard sighed with disappointment. "Is there any way we can contact them?"

"We could send a message asking them to return, however I would have to speak with the rest of the Admiralty board to do so…and I am reluctant to do that." Zaal'Koris said with a hint of amusement.

Shepard grew frustrated and snapped back at the Admiral. "It wouldn't be beneficial to your overall health if they refused."

Zaal'Koris took a step back, and the rest of the Quarians at their duty stations glanced up nervously. "Don't insult me on my own ship Shepard. I will ask them to speak with you and decide for themselves what the best course of action is."

"And how long should this take?" Questioned Shepard.

"The Admiralty board is rather fond of you Shepard, they should be eager to hear from you. I will send a message telling them the case and they will in time decide when to meet." Zaal'Koris replied.

"What should we do in the meantime?"

"I would _appreciate_ you to stay on board your ship while the Admiralty board decides what to do; I will have a message sent to you when they have replied." Zaal'Koris pushed a button on a nearby console that caused the door behind them to open up."I trust you can find your way back to your ship?" Zaal'Koris said in an almost insulting manner.

Shepard had clinched his fists and was about to say something, but Tali stepped in front of him and spoke quickly. "Yes, we appreciate your help Admiral."

Zaal'Koris nodded his head in an approving manner toward Tali and started typing something into the console.

Shepard released his fist and reluctantly left the room. Once Shepard and his team were out of hearing range of the guards Shepard stopped.

"You know more about the Admiralty board then any of us, any idea what will happen?" asked Shepard as he turned to Tali.

Tali looked up at Shepard and replied. "Well if Koris was telling the truth about the Admiralty board being fond you then we have nothing to worry about, he'll be too worried about his position not to support you."

Shepard sighed, relieved to know that this might work after all. "Well that's the best news I've heard all day, what should we do now?"

Tali glanced behind Shepard in the direction of the small, compacted village. "There's not much we can do, besides wait for a reply." Tali said sounding somewhat depressed.

Shepard sensed that there was something wrong and asked her softly. "Is there anything you want to do while were here? It's not every day we visit the Flotilla."

Tali appeared nervous and looked down the ground as she replied."Well…There is someone I'd like you to meet."

Shepard grinned behind his helmet at her embarrassment, and tenderly replied. "That's fine Tali, who do you want me to meet?"

Tali looked up at Shepard and rubbed her hands apprehensively."Just a friend, I told her that we were coming and she wanted to know what ship we were on so she could meet you."

Garrus who had been standing off to the side tried to cover a laugh but failed miserably. Shepard looked up startled and quickly replied."Garrus…You uhh, can you get back to the ship alone?"

Garrus nodded his head and answered in an amused tone as he walked past the couple. "Yea, I think I can manage that."

Shepard looked back at Tali who had her head cocked to one side still looking up at Shepard.

Shepard smiled and said cheerfully "Do you try to be so cute, our does it come naturally?"

Tali giggled softly beneath her helmet, and took a step towards him. "I can do either one for you commander."


End file.
